


I'd do it all over again

by Toady99



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, F/F, Love, Thriller
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-09
Updated: 2016-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-19 10:06:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5963353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toady99/pseuds/Toady99
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Clarke Griffin gets kidnapped, her father, Senator Jake Griffin, begs her ex-girlfriend, Detective Lexa Woods, to save the day. Little does he know that there are greater forces at work and Clarke's life isn't the only one in the balance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Woods! Blake! My office! Now!"  
"What the hell?"  
Lexa furrowed a brow and looked at Bellamy, her partner of three years, but he only shrugged. Usually their Captain wasn't in the business of shouting at them. Something weird was going on. Bellamy got up and walked over to Gustus' office, Lexa followed suit.  
"Close the door." Gustus sat behind his desk, that was always messy, and looked at them.  
"We have a case and I have to know if you're up for it. It's a kidnapping."  
"A kidnapping? Isn't the task force more suited for this?" Bellamy looked at him.  
"I agree, but the situation is a bit delicate and the two of you have been explicitly requested."  
Gustus' eyes reached Lexa who kept silent. She had a bad feeling about this.  
"Maybe you should sit down."  
Lexa shook her head. "I prefer standing, Sir, if you don't mind."  
Gustus just nodded.  
"As I already said, the two of you have been requested by the father of the victim. He says he knows you and trusts you and he has some kind of pull with the Commissioner, so ..."  
"Sir, who are we talking about?" Lexa thought Bellamy's voice sounded just a little bit shaky. Almost as shaky as she felt.  
"Senator Jake Griffin."

 

"Lex, are you okay?" Bellamy took his eyes of the road for a second and looked at her with concern. Lexa just nodded.  
"Listen, I don't know why Jake thought it would be a good idea to ask for us. We are clearly not objective."  
Lexa stared out of the windshield.  
"That's why he asked for us. Because he knows we are not." Her voice sounded strange in her ears. "He knows we are not going to tell him what the protocol is. He knows we will do what is necessary to get her back."

They drove in silence for a while. When they reached the Griffin residence Lexa had instant flashbacks to happier times. Times spent with Clarke, in love with Clarke. Good times, before she had messed it all up.  
Bellamy drove though the big gate and up the driveway. The house was huge. The Griffin family had been living here for generations. They were, as you might call it, “old money”. Lexa came from a different background. She had never met her father and her mother had died because of her drinking when she was only a little kid. From then on she had been a foster child with everything that fact entailed. The Griffins never made her feel out of place though. Actually she had never felt more welcome anywhere and still she had been the one to walk away from all of it. She had walked away from Clarke.  
She opened the car door and got out. The entrance was exactly as she remembered it: three steps up to a gigantic green wooden door with a knocker that had absolutely no function, but to look intimidating.  
Bellamy watched her. He knew her and he knew Clarke. They never talked about the fact that he frequently saw her, because his little sister was one of Clarke's closest friends. He had always tried to be a neutral party and that's why they got on as well as they did.  
"Are you sure you're okay? We could always tell Jake to use the task force instead."  
She looked at him. "Would you really walk away from this?"  
He just gave her the hint of a smile. "Of course not."  
He rang the bell. "Let's get our princess back, shall we?"

Jake Griffin opened the door himself. He shook Bellamy’s hand and looked at Lexa for a little while before he simply reached out and embraced her.  
“Lexa.”  
“Jake, I’m so sorry.”  
He looked tired. “I really wished these were better circumstances, but it’s good to see you.” He smiled at her, a sad smile, then he motioned for them to come into the living room.  
Lexa took a look around. Everything looked exactly the same, everything but the man sitting on one of the sofas. He seemed to be tall and he was good looking, but in need of a haircut. Jake looked at him.  
“Finn, this is Lexa and you know Bellamy.”  
Lexa felt Bellamy’s apologizing glance on her so she guessed that Finn was Clarke’s boyfriend. He got up and shook her hand.  
“I’m Clarke’s fiancé.”  
Fiancé. Lexa felt something sting inside of her, but she just smiled at him.  
“Nice to meet you, Finn.”  
She turned to face Jake.  
“Jake, I probably should make it absolutely clear that it would be the logical thing to involve the kidnapping task force in this. But I know that you are an intelligent man and you obviously made up your mind about this, so we shouldn’t waste any time. I see that they already put a wiretap on your phone?”  
Jake nodded. “Your boss insisted on that.”  
“Okay. So tell me what happened.”  
Jake sat down on the sofa and motioned for the others to join him.  
“Clarke is in her last year of residency at the hospital. Yesterday she had a late shift and was supposed to meet us for breakfast today, but she never showed. After a few hours and several missed calls Abby and I were afraid something had happened to her so we went to her apartment, but she wasn’t there. When we arrived back home we found this on our doorstep.”  
He reached for an envelope on the small table next to him. Lexa took a pair of gloves from her pocket and put them on, then she took the envelope and opened it. Inside there was a piece of paper. It was nothing special, just ordinary paper with text printed on it.  
“We have your daughter. If you want her back alive, have one million dollars ready and wait for instructions. No police.” So much for eloquence.  
Lexa took out the other item the envelope contained and suddenly she was very aware of the light shaking of her hands. It was a photograph of Clarke, tied up and gagged on a cement floor, staring pleadingly into the camera.  
Lexa looked at the photo for a good amount of time, but couldn’t make out any further details.  
“Anything else since then?”  
Jake shook his head. “No.”  
Lexa gave everything to Bellamy who put the items in an evidence bag.  
“How many people touched the envelope?”  
“Only Abby and me.”  
Bellamy nodded.  
“Okay. The good thing is that they want something from you. As long as they don’t have it, Clarke is safe. What about the money, Jake? Do you have it?”  
“I already instructed Kane to get it. He brought it over an hour ago.”  
“Good.”  
Jake looked at him.  
“Does that mean, we are going to pay?”  
Bellamy got up.  
“What it means is that we have options. I will go back to the precinct and make sure the lab works on the letter as fast as they can. I will also go and check the hospitals security cameras and the ones in Clarke’s building. Do we know how she was supposed to get home?”  
“She wanted to take the subway. Her car broke down a couple of days ago and it’s still in the shop.” Finn looked at Bellamy.  
“Okay. Then I’ll check those cameras, too. Lexa will stay here in case they call.”  
Lexa got up, too.  
“Find Monty and tell him to help you. He’s the tech whiz. If anyone knows how to speed things up, it’s him.”  
She walked Bellamy to the door. “One more thing, Bell. Call the Senator’s office and find out if there were any threats in the last weeks.”  
He looked at her. “Why?”  
“I don’t know yet. I just have a hunch.”  
He nodded. “Okay.” He was already opening the door when he started to speak again. “Listen, Lex, I’m sorry, I didn’t tell you about Finn.”  
“Never mind, that is none of my business.” Even for her that sentence came out too fast.  
“Just tell me one thing: Is he good to her?”  
Bellamy thought about it one second and decided to give her an honest answer.  
“I don’t know.” 

 

“Abby?” Lexa knocked on the door that led to Clarke’s old room. There was no answer. She knocked again and opened the door. Abby Griffin sat on Clarke’s bed hugging a pillow. She was staring out of the window. Lexa stood in the doorway and watched her.  
“Abby? Jake told me you were here …” There was no reaction and Lexa considered leaving the woman alone when she turned towards her.  
“She always loved this house, you know?”  
Lexa nodded. “I know. I loved it, too.”  
“And we loved you. Why did you leave, Lexa?”  
Lexa wasn’t prepared for this conversation. She never thought she was going to have it, let alone now. She tried to be honest.  
“I needed to figure out my life, Abby. On my own.”  
“You could have done that, Lexa. We wouldn’t have stopped you. Clarke wouldn’t have …” She started to cry.  
“Abby!” Lexa sat down next to her and put her arms around her. In this very second she felt tired. Here was Abby Griffin, Dr. Abby Griffin, who had always been strong and proud and frankly a little intimidating, crying her eyes out.  
“Abby, we are going to find her. I am going to find her. I won’t let anything happen to Clarke.”  
Lexa knew that she couldn’t promise this. She knew there was nothing she could do right now, but she still meant it exactly the way she said it. She wouldn’t let anything happen to Clarke.  
That’s when she heard the phone ring.

 

Clarke was hyperventilating. Her heartbeat was fast and she felt dizzy.  
“Breath, Clarke. You can get through this.”  
Of course of all people she would hear Lexa’s voice. She always heard Lexa’s voice during panic attacks. Lexa, who would help her to focus and breathe like she had always done.  
Clarke had always had panic attacks or at least she had for as long as she could remember. There was nothing extraordinary that had caused them, nothing traumatic. Nothing like this. She almost giggled at the weirdness of this thought.  
The gag in her mouth made it harder to breathe, but she tried to focus again, focus on Lexa’s voice. After a while breathing became easier and her heart slowed down. Clarke closed her eyes.  
She didn’t remember anything; just that somebody had been there when she left the hospital through the back door. That somebody must have drugged her, because the next thing she knew was waking up on a cold concrete floor with her hands and feet tied up. She wondered how he could have known that the back door of the east wing was the exit she used after night shifts, because it was closer to the subway station?  
She saw her kidnapper when he came to take her picture. She guessed that it was for her parents, to make sure they knew she was alive. The man wore a mask, which in Clarke’s book was a good thing. He didn’t want to be recognized so killing her probably wasn’t part of the plan.  
She tried to move her hands a little to help with the blood flow, but the bonds were pretty tight. There was nothing for her to do, but to lie here and wait.  
Her dad would be freaked out by now and her mum … Clarke knew that the image of the cool Dr. Griffin often was nothing but a front. Her mum cared deeply about people and without her “business persona” she probably would break down.  
Clarke asked herself if Raven and Octavia knew about her disappearance. If O knew she would be furious that she couldn’t do anything and Raven … Raven would probably think about who or what to blow up.  
And Lexa … what would Lexa do?  
After a long while Clarke realized that there was one person that hadn’t been on her mind at all. Finn. What was that supposed to mean?

 

Lexa ran downstairs and arrived just in time to start the call trace. She motioned for Jake to take the call and put it on speaker.  
“Jake Griffin?” The voice was distorted, of course it was.  
“Yes.”  
“If you want to see your daughter again, you will put the money in a bag and drive it to 112 Eames Street. You will find a burner phone under a bench. I will text you the other instructions. You will not bring your phone or any kind of weapon. You have 10 minutes.” The phone went dead.  
Jake’s eyes went wide. Lexa looked at him.  
“Give me the money and your car keys.” She took her phone from her pocket and gave it to Jake. “Call Bellamy and tell him what is going on.”  
“What? No, Lexa, I am supposed to bring the money.”  
“Jake, you have no idea what is going to happen and you may be a United States Senator, but you are not a cop. Let me handle this.”  
“But …”  
“There is no but. You didn’t want the task force. You wanted me. Now trust me.”  
Jake looked at her, but it was Abby who answered.  
“Bring Clarke home, Lexa. Please!”  
“I will.”

She put the bag with the money on the passenger seat and placed her gun in the glove department. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go down. She should have had Bellamy at her side, but she would manage. The car was nice, a black Mercedes. She started it and drove down the driveway and onto the street. 10 minutes weren’t much to get to Eames Street so she stepped on it and was lucky: She made it in 9 minutes and found the bench. The phone was there. It blinked.  
“12 Trochadero Drive. 6 minutes.” Lexa drove. After six further messages that had her driving all over town she was sure that Bellamy wouldn’t find her, but that was probably the idea. The last address was a dead end in a shady area. Lexa stopped the car and waited. The phone vibrated. “Get out of the car.”  
She took at deep breath and opened the car door.  
The hooded man came from a doorway to her left. He pointed his gun at her.  
“Who are you? Where is Griffin?”  
“My name is Lexa. I am a friend of the family.”  
“Fuck this shit! You’re a cop!” He seemed to be nervous.  
“Rest assured that I am not.”  
He seemed to think. Lexa thought about her options. She could try to take him out, but he had a gun and she didn’t know if he had a partner. Even if he didn’t, she couldn’t be sure he would tell her where Clarke was. Her best play was to wait.  
“Do you have the money?”  
“Yes. It is in the car on the passenger seat.”  
“Give me the car keys.”  
Lexa threw them at the man who caught them.  
“Step around the car and walk down the alley. Don’t try to interfere or I will shoot you!”  
Lexa did as she was told. Behind her she heard the car door close and the engine start. She cursed. He would drive away. There was no tracking devise and her gun was in the damn car. She heard the Mercedes back out of the alley and turned around. The second it was out of sight Lexa ran. When she arrived at the main street she could still see the black car driving north. She only had one chance. She jumped into the middle the street and hoped that the driver that was approaching had a good reaction time. Fortunately he had. He stopped the car, tires screeching, and started to scream at her, but she didn’t care. She just knocked him out of the way and stole the car. Just like that Detective Lexa Woods was in pursuit.

 

Cage drove carefully. The black Mercedes was a nice car, but it was also expensive enough to be considered flashy in his part of town. The last thing he wanted was to be stopped by some cop for speeding. It took him twenty minutes to reach his destination, an old warehouse on the outskirts of town. He drove the car around the last corner and stopped. Only then he opened the bag next to him to take a look at the money. It was all there. Cage grinned. There was only one thing left to do.

 

Lexa stopped the car and got out. She would go the rest of the way on foot. After rounding two corners she saw the black Mercedes parked close to entrance of the old warehouse building. She looked around and didn’t see anyone. She tried the passenger door. It was closed. She considered breaking into the car to get to her gun, but knowing Jake it probably had an alarm and she really needed the element of surprise. She made her way to the entrance and tried the door. It was open.  
It was pretty dark inside and her eyes needed a moment to get used to it. She heard voices though.  
“I am really sorry that I have to do this, love. I would have liked to play with you a little, but I get paid and I need to keep my customers happy.”  
The man laughed and there were muffled cries. Lexa followed the sounds.  
“I really like the fact that your daddy gave me an extra million, but I’m afraid, it won’t do you any good.”  
The man stood with his back to Lexa. He was pointing the gun at Clarke who was staring at him, her eyes wide with fear. He was clearly going to shoot her.  
Lexa launched. She managed to push the gun upwards, so as he fired he only took a shot at the ceiling. There was plastering raining down.  
He was surprised by her attack, but he was obviously also a professional. He hit Lexa in the face, but she still managed to hold onto the gun. They wrestled for it and just when she thought she had lost it, her finger somehow was on the trigger and she shot him square in the chest.  
His eyes widened. Blood bubbled from his mouth. Then he fell. Lexa fell to the ground with him, her hands still on the gun. She lay still for one more moment then she checked his pulse. The man was dead.  
She took a deep breath and turned around to tend to Clarke. She took out the gag and took Clarke’s face in both of her hands.  
“Clarke, are you okay?”  
Clarke just stared at her as if she couldn’t believe Lexa was there.  
Lexa looked for a knife or anything sharp and finally managed to find an old army knife in the kidnapper’s pockets. She cut the ropes around Clarke’s ankles and hands and started to massage her wrists to start the blood flow. Clarke was still staring at her, so Lexa stopped.  
“Clarke? Please, say something.”  
At that precise moment Clarke Griffin collapsed into Lexa Woods’ arms.  
“Lexa!” 

 

The car stopped in front of the Griffin house and Lexa was forced to wake up Clarke, whose head was resting on her shoulder. She really didn’t want to. Having Clarke so close did something to her. She felt herself softening.  
Bellamy turned around in the driver’s seat to look at them.  
“We are here.”  
“I know.”  
“Do you want me to wake her up?”  
“No, Bell, it’s okay. I’ll do it.”  
He got out of the car to give them some space.  
Lexa put her hand on Clarke’s cheek.  
“Clarke? Clarke? Hey, sleepy head. We’re here.”  
Clarke mumbled something. Before she had even realized what she was doing Lexa bent over and kissed Clarke’s forehead. “Hey, come on. Wake up.”  
Clarke opened her eyes.  
“What?”  
“We are here. Are you ready?”  
Clarke nodded. Lexa got out of the car and held the door for her. "Lexa ..." Just when Clarke started to speak all hell broke loose.  
“Clarke!” Jake was the first to run out of the house and hug his daughter, Abby and Finn close behind. When he was finished with Clarke he put his arms around Lexa. “Thank you, Lexa! Thank you so much!”  
“There is nothing you will ever have to thank me for, Jake.” She looked at him and then at Clarke who was still in her mother’s arms. “She didn’t want to go to the hospital. Have Abby check her, please?!”  
Jake nodded in agreement.  
“Aren’t you coming in?”  
Lexa shook her head. “I think it’s better to leave you guys alone. I will be by tomorrow to follow up on some questions though and Bell and some of our colleagues will stay over if that’s okay with you?”  
“Why?”  
Lexa looked at him. “Just something that the kidnapper said. Something about a customer. I have the feeling that this wasn’t ‘just’ a kidnapping.”  
When she saw his face she gave him a small smile.  
“Don’t worry. Bell will make sure you’re safe and I’ll be there tomorrow to talk things through.”  
He nodded, then he bent down and put a kiss on her cheek.  
“Don’t you ever be a stranger again, Lexa.” With that he turned and told his family to come inside.  
Lexa saw Clarke look at her before she vanished inside the house. She knew that Finn had seen it, too. He came over to her.  
“Thank you for bringing my fiancé home, Lexa. I will take care of her now. Don’t worry, she is safe now that I am here.”  
He smiled at her and left.  
“What a douche!”  
Bellamy dangled the car keys in front of Lexa.  
“Trust me, if he tries to get too close to her tonight, I will personally kick him out.” He laughed and left her standing in the driveway.  
Lexa stood there for a while longer, then she got into the car and drove home. She was sure that this was not the end of it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there!  
> Okay, this is part two of this story. I don't know exactely how many chapters there'll be in the end (probably something between 4 and 6), but I already wrote the ending, so this won't be one of those unfinished things. Thank you for your comments ( keep them coming).

„Damn! My little sis is a fucking hero!“  
Anya grabbed her coffee cup and added unholy amounts of sugar. Lexa’s foster sister looked like she was a “coffee, black” type of girl, but Lexa knew better. Under her rugged exterior Anya was a big ball of fluff. One that would kill her would she ever let anyone else know.  
“I’m not, An. I was doing my job.”  
Anya chuckled.  
“Sure, whatever you say, kid. You saved your ex-girlfriend’s life without so much as a weapon, but you are not a hero.” She took a sip from her coffee. “Come to think of it, you are actually more like a lovesick puppy. You really kissed her forehead?”  
Lexa instantly regretted giving her this particular piece of information.  
“I might have.”  
Anya chuckled again.  
“What?” Lexa started to be annoyed.  
“Kid, you spent three years living like a monk and becoming this city’s findest detective, but the second you see Clarke again you’re all mushy.  
“Call me mushy again and I’ll kick your ass. Pass me the butter.”  
Lexa made an effort not to look at Anya. Her sister grinned.  
“So, are you going to see her again?”  
“Probably.”  
“Probably?”  
“I told Jake I’d come by to talk about a few things.”  
“What things?”  
“Of the record?”  
“Lex, you invited me over for breakfast. Do you really think I would ask you to talk to me on the record?”  
Lexa nodded and put more milk in her coffee.  
“There is this thing the kidnapper said to Clarke that I can't get out of my head. He said he would kill her, because he had to make his customers happy.”  
Anya looked at her. “So, not just a simple kidnapping, hm?”  
“I don’t think so.”  
“What are you going to do?”  
“I’ll keep a protective detail on the Griffins and I’ll try to find out what either of them could have done to piss anyone off.”  
“I might just be able to help you with that.”  
“How so?”  
“Well, kid, I am a reporter and I have my sources. There is a bill coming up that Jake is very much opposed to. It’s about land development. They want to build a new industrial park. I don’t want to bore you with the details. The thing is that there is a lot of money involved, but Jake thinks that it will be bad for the environment, so he is very vocal about voting no.”  
“Yeah, but he is just one Senator. There are a lot more people, who are going to vote on this.”  
“You’re right, but he is a very influential man. If Jake votes no it’s very likely a lot of others will too.”  
“But killing Clarke won’t make him vote yes.”  
Anya sighed. “Sometimes you are really stupid. Like the time Clarke told you she wanted to marry you and you got the hell out of Dodge.”  
Lexa stared at her.  
“Why would you bring that up now?”  
“Because it shows just how much of an idiot you are. Anyways, it might not make him vote yes, but it might just make him not vote at all.”  
Lexa took a bite out of her bagle. “And who you do you reckon would be making weird-ass conspiracy plans like that?”  
Anya smiled at her.  
“You might want to have a look at the firm that is planning this nice little industrial park. It is the Azgeda Corporation. Their CEO is Nia Queen. They call her the Ice Queen.”  
“What a stupid nickname.”  
“But fitting. The ham, please. There is one more thing.”  
Lexa looked at her.  
“What kind of thing?”  
“I will tell you, but this time, little sis, you have to promise me that if you ever go on the record, I’ll be the first one you talk to.”  
“Deal.”  
“Jake Griffin and Nia Queen had a thing once, but before you get to the wrong conclusions: That was before he met Abby.”

 

“Lexa, it is good to see you.” Jake smiled at her.  
“You, too, Jake. I take it, everything is fine?”  
“Yes, Bellamy and your other people are very pleasant house guests.”  
Jake took a step back to let Lexa in. She saw Bellamy sitting in the kitchen and looked at Jake.  
“Do you mind if I catch up with Bell and then you and I can talk?”  
“Sure. You know your way around. I’ll be in my study.”  
Lexa walked through the hall and into the kitchen.  
“Hey Bellamy, is everything okay?”  
“If you want to know if the douche is still here: Nope.” He grinned.  
“That’s not what I meant, but thank you for the update.”  
“Anytime, partner.” He chuckled. All these people chuckling at her started to dampen Lexa’s mood.  
“Listen, I had a very informative breakfast with my sister.”  
“Informative how?”  
Lexa sat down on one of the kitchen chairs and filled him in. Bellamy’s smile vanished. “That sounds like a lead, but we don’t have any proof. How do you want to play it?”  
“I thought we could have Monty check any unusual financial transaction the Azgeda Corp. or Nia Queen might have had. Find out if there are any ties to our kidnapper. His name is Wallace, by the way. Cage Wallace. Gustus called me earlier. Monty is already trying to find out everything about him.”  
“Okay, let’s try the financial angle first. If nothing comes from it we can always have a nice little chat with the Ice Queen.” He got up. “Can you manage talking to Jake alone? I haven’t seen Gina and the kids for almost two days.”  
Lexa got up, too. “Sure, Bell. Say hi for me.”  
“They all would love it very much if you’d come over for dinner some time.”  
She smiled. “I will. I promise.”  
He nodded. “Okay, I will call Monty and have him get to work. I’ll meet you at the station later. We’ll have to talk to Gustus about this. How did you manage to get the protective detail anyway?”  
Lexa laughed. “It’s not so hard when the potential victim is a senator. Now go and have lunch with your family.”

Jake sat behind his desk and looked up when Lexa entered.  
“Lexa, come in.” She smiled at him and closed the door behind her.  
“Oh, this is a serious talk, I see.” He smiled. “Please, sit down.”  
Lexa sat down on one of the comfy chairs next to the little coffee table. Jake joined her.  
“So, what is this about. I thought you had the guy who kidnapped Clarke?”  
“We have. He is very much dead and in the morgue, but before I came in I heard him say something to Clarke and I am a little worried about it.”  
Jake looked at her, his gaze unwavering. “What did he say?”  
“He said the reason he was about to kill her was that his customers wanted her dead.” She saw Jake’s face turn pale.  
“Jake, what can you tell me about Nia Queen and the Azgeda Corporation?”  
“Nia? Why would you ask about her?”  
“Because as far as I know there were no incidents at the hospital that would make either Abby or Clarke a mark for anyone. You on the other hand are very vocal about a bill that if it fails will cost people serious amounts of money.”  
He smiled at her.  
“You really are a good detective, Lexa.”  
Lexa smiled back at him.  
“This industrial park would cause irreversible damage to the environment.”  
“Jake, I’m completely with you on this, but I have to know: Has Nia Queen contacted you about this? Have there been any threats against you or your family?”  
He shook his head.  
“No. Nia and I … we don’t speak. We were … a couple. That was ages ago, but then I met Abby and I guess, Nia never got over that. We try to avoid talking to each other if possible. … A little like you and Clarke.”  
Jesus, what was up with the innuendos today? Lexa looked at him. “I don’t think Clarke ever considered killing me, though.”  
He laughed.  
“No, probably not. She still likes you too much. Not that she would admit to that.”  
He leant back in his chair. “So what is the next move?”  
“You will keep the protective detail until further notice and Bell and I will try to find out who’s behind all of this.”  
“So, basically you want us to stay inside this house and out of trouble until you've saved the day?”  
Lexa got up. “Yes, basically.”  
Jake laughed again.  
“There could be a minor problem.”  
“Meaning?”  
“Clarke is determined to go home to her apartment.”  
“She can’t. That would make protecting her way more difficult.”  
“I know. And I told her to stay put, but you know how she is.”  
Lexa sighed. “Yes, I do.”  
“Maybe if you talked to her …?”  
“I can at least try.”

 

“Clarke? It’s Lexa.”  
There was no answer.  
“Clarke?”  
Lexa opened the door to Clarke’s room only to find it empty with the window open. For a second she felt panic rise inside of her.  
“Not again!”  
But then she saw the letter on the bed.  
“Mum, Dad, I am not a child. I know you just want to protect me, but I can’t stay in this room or I’ll go crazy. Love, Clarke.”  
Lexa sighed and took out her phone.  
“Monty, please track a phone for me. Clarke Griffin. Yes, that Clarke Griffin. Call me when you have the location. Thank you.”

 

Half an hour later she arrived at the place where Clarke lived. It was a beautiful brick building. Clarke’s apartment was on the fifth floor and there was no elevator. Lexa knew the steps by heart. She couldn’t count the times she had climbed these stairs. She also remembered a few make out sessions that were usually cut short by the arrival of a neighbour. Lexa smiled. She took the last flight of stairs and was finally faced with Clarke’s door. She took a deep breath and rang the bell.  
When Clarke opened the door mere seconds later Lexa stared at her.  
“See, this is exactely why you are not staying here. I could have been a killer.”  
Clarke just looked at her. She hadn’t expected Lexa and she was unsure what to say. She stayed silent and placed firmly inside the doorframe.  
“Clarke, the man who kidnapped you, he worked for someone. It is not safe for you to stay here. Please, let me get you back to your parent’s house.”  
Clarke still looked at her.  
“Why would you care?”  
“Why would I care?” Lexa couldn’t believe her ears.  
“Yes, Lexa, why would you care? Send me some unis and do what you would usually do in cases like this. Find the bad guy or something.”  
Lexa looked at her in confusion.  
“Clarke I do care.”  
“Whatever.” Clarke closed the door on her.  
“Damn it!” Lexa was furious. Leave it to Clarke to risk her life only to piss Lexa off.  
Her phone rang.  
“Yes?!”  
“Lexa?”  
“Gustus. Sorry, I didn’t … What can I do for you?”  
“Well, it’s good that you ask, because I just got a call from the Comissioner.”  
“Yeah?”  
“He informed me that he wants his best detective, and by that he means you, playing bodyguard for the next couple of days.”  
Lexa swore she had a ringing in her ears.  
“I’m sorry?”  
“You will make sure nothing happens to Clarke Griffin.”  
“Gustus, you got to be kidding me?!”  
“Well, let me phrase it this way: You will not move away from that girl. Am I understood?”  
Lexa sighed. “Yes, Captain.”  
“Good. If there is anything you need, call Bellamy. He brought me up to speed. You can use all the manpower we’ve got. I don’t want to have the Comissioner yelling at me … again.” He ended the call.  
Lexa resisted the urge to slam her head into the wall. She called Bellamy instead to coordinate the search for – as Clarke called it – the bad guy while she was stuck playing babysitter for an apartment door.


	3. Chapter 3

After three hours Lexa needed to pee. She was lucky that the old Mrs. Oriano, who lived across from Clarke, chose this moment to open her door and inquire about Lexa’s presence in front of Clarke’s door. She remembered who Lexa was and after Lexa had explained that she was with the police department and here on official business, Mrs. Oriano let her use her restroom. Lexa hoped that Clarke wouldn’t use the two minutes she was gone to pull another vanishing act, but when she came back to the door, she heard her arguing on the phone.  
Three minutes later the door opened and Clarke stared at her.  
“You’re still here.”  
“Yes.”  
“My dad made you.”  
“My Captain made me. Or better: You make me, because you won’t stay with you parents.”  
Clarke furrowed her brow. She looked annoyed and ready to fight.  
“Isn’t there somewhere else you have to be? At home with your new girlfriend, or something?  
“I don’t have a …” Lexa was livid. “Shouldn’t your fiancé be here to make sure you’re okay?” She saw the way Clarke’s face changed and immediately regretted uttering the sentence. Clarke just stared at her for a second, before she slammed the door in her face. Again. This was going to be fun.

Raven and Octavia arrived at seven p.m. with a bunch of pizza boxes and couldn’t stop laughing when they found Lexa sitting on the floor.  
“Wow, Detective, what a sight to see. I almost don’t believe my eyes.” Raven grinned at her. “She won’t let you in?”  
“No.” Lexa stayed exactly where she was, staring at her boots.  
“Have you asked nicely?”  
“I don’t have the chance to ask her anything for she keeps slamming the door in my face.”  
Raven was still laughing.  
Octavia looked at Lexa. “Lets just for just one second put aside the fact that Clarke still hates you and therefore we are not supposed to like you either: Thank you for saving her, Lexa! And thank you for putting up with her right now to keep her save.”  
Raven nodded. “Bell told us that this might not be over so we appreciate you being here.” A small grin appeared on her face. “Well, not exactly here here.” She pointed to Lexa’s position on the ground.“ She took one of the pizza boxes and gave it to her.  
“Here. I figured, you might get hungry. Ham and extra pepperoni. That was your style, right?”  
Lexa looked at her in awe.  
“You remember stuff like this? It’s been three years since we last had pizza together.”  
Raven just shrugged. “I have the memory of an elephant. Listen, if you have to go somewhere for a while, we’ll stay with Clarke for a few hours.”  
Lexa smiled at her. “Thanks for offering, but don’t get me wrong: When some guy with a gun shows up, what exactly do you think you’re going to do?”  
Both girls looked at her. “Point taken.”

Lexa’s phone rang at eight p.m. It was Bellamy with updates on the case. There were no connections between the Azgeda Corp. and Cage Wallace and nothing that connected Nia Queen to him. Monty was Monty though and when he came up empty he had been trying other angles. Nia Queen had two children: a son, Roan, who was in Japan and therefore not a likely suspect, and a daughter, named Ontari, who had a huge trust fund. Interestingly enough there had been a cash withdrawal of over one million dollars about one month ago. Bell wanted to confront her about it, but Lexa had a better idea. She told him to get Harper, Monty and Monroe to work. In this day and age there were video cameras everywhere. How hard would it be to find our where Ontari had taken the money after the withdrawal?

Raven and Octavia left at midnight. Clarke made an effort not to notice Lexa sitting next to her door when she said goodbye to her friends and closed the door seconds after. Raven looked at Lexa.  
“Wow, she really is going to go through with this. Listen, we tried to talk some sense into her, but she won’t listen, so I guess, you’re going to be needing this.” She took something out of her jeans pocket and gave it to Lexa.  
“What’s that?”  
“Jeez, you’re supposed to be a detective. What do you think?”  
“Her spare key?”  
“Ten point for Gryffindor.”  
“Thank you, Raven.”  
“Just don’t tell on me.”  
“I won’t.”

Just after one a.m. Clarke’s door opened again. Clarke stood in the doorframe and looked at her. Without a word she put down a blanket, a pillow and a bottle of water, then she closed the door again.  
Lexa smiled.

 

_A few hours earlier:_  
_Clarke was mad. She ran around her apartment searching for something other to occupy her mind than Lexa standing outside her door like a damn watchdog. She started to paint, but everything that materialized on the canvas was vague and unsatisfying._  
_Three time she made her way to the door and looked through the peephole. Yes, she was still there, and yes, the pure sight of her still made her pulse go faster. Clarke was sure it was because of how much she despised her._  
_Yesterday she could have sworn that right before she woke up in the car Lexa had kissed her. She could still feel her lips on her forehead. It was a burning feeling._  
_Clarke sighed. Why the hell wouldn’t she leave? She could easily have put a few unis in front of her door and she would still be safe, but there she was. Suddenly it hit her._  
_She got the phone and called her dad._  
_“Clarke? Is everything okay?”_  
_“Dad, are you responsible for Lexa staying in front of my apartment door?”_  
_“Lexa is outside?”_  
_“So, that’s a yes then?”_  
_“Clarke, don’t act like a child and let her in.”_  
_“Why the hell would you make her come here, dad?”_  
_“She is supposed to keep you safe.”_  
_“Every policeman in the city could do that. Why is she here?”_  
_Her father sighed._  
_“Because I trust no one but her when it comes to your life, Clarke. Please, let her in, okay? You can be mad at me about this if you want to, but she is not your enemy.”_  
_Clarke huffed. “I have plenty of reasons to be pissed at Lexa. I don’t need this particular one to make her stay outside of my apartment. If you really insist that she is going to be here instead of doing actual police work, this is how it’s going to be.” She hung up._  
_It was all too quiet now. She considered calling Finn, but then called Raven instead._  
_“Hey Raven? If the offer still stands I’d love you and O to come over. Keep me company for a while?”_  
_“Sure, Clarke. Whatever you need. Should I grab pizza on the way?”_  
_Clarke thought about it for a moment._  
_“Sure, sounds fine. Let’s say around seven?”_  
_“Works for me.”_  
_“Good. … and Raven?”_  
_“Yes?”_  
_Clarke sighed._  
_“Bring an extra pizza with ham and extra pepperoni, okay?”_  
_“I can do that, but why?”_  
_“It’s for Lexa. She’s sitting outside my door making sure nothing happens to me.”_  
_“What?”_  
_“My dad made her do it. Just bring the pizza and don’t tell her it was my idea.”_  
_Raven laughed. “Whatever you say, boss.”_

 

She must have dozed off. Lexa took a look at her watch. It was four a.m. and she wasn’t sure what it was that had woken her. Then she heard it again. Someone was calling her name. The sound came from Clarke’s apartment. Lexa shot upright. What if somebody had managed to get past her? She made the two steps to the door and listened. It didn’t sound like a fight, but she heard Clarke’s voice saying ‘No! No, please!” over and over again. Lexa took the key from her jeans and opened the door. The living room was dark and Clarke’s voice seemed to come from the bedroom.  
Lexa took her gun from the holster and locked the door behind her. She moved quietly, avoiding the pieces of furniture in her way, always looking for a possible intruder, but there was nobody there. When she arrived in Clarke’s bedroom, she understood.  
Clarke was alone. She was having a nightmare or it was more like she was having a panic attack while beeing asleep. She lay in her bed, her body almost convulsing and she was screaming in agony. Lexa put her gun back inside the holster and switched on the lamp that was on the little table next to the bed, but Clarke didn’t wake up. She was covered in sweat, her hand turned into fists, knuckles white. She kept repeating a name. Lexa’s name.  
Lexa tried to wake her up, but Clarke was too far gone, so she did the only thing that she could think of: She pulled her into a sitting position und put her in a tight hug so she wouldn’t hurt herself.  
“Clarke! Clarke, it’s me. You’re okay. I am here. No one is going to hurt you! I am here. Clarke, please! Listen to me!”  
That seemed to calm her down to some extent. Lexa kept talking and after about ten minutes she felt Clarke relax in her embrace. Her head sank onto Lexa’s shoulder and her hands grabbed Lexa’s shirt.  
“Lexa?”  
“I am here, Clarke. You’re okay. You’re safe.”  
She felt Clarke’s tears on her shoulder.  
“He was about to kill me.”  
“I know, but he didn’t. You’re right here. With me. I won’t let anyone hurt you.”  
“You hurt me.”  
Lexa stopped breathing for a second.  
“I know, I did. I am sorry, Clarke.”  
Clarke was shivering.  
“Your shirt is soaked, Clarke. You need to change.” Lexa pulled away a few inches to look at her, but found Clarke’s gaze empty and exhausted. “Can you sit here alone for just a second. I’ll just get you something new to wear.”  
Clarke nodded.  
Lexa got up and went to the wardrobe. She opened a drawer and found Clarke’s shirts in exactly the same spot they had been in three years ago. She took one out and gave it to her. Clarke merely looked at it.  
“Okay, no problem. I’m going to help you change, okay?”  
Another nod.  
Lexa put her hands to the rim of Clarke’s shirt and pulled it up and over her head. She tried not to look at the goosebumps on Clarke’s back as she sat there, wearing nothing but a pair of panties. She helped her get the new shirt on and briefly considered getting her some new underwear as well, but there was a thin line between restraint and masochism and she decided not to cross it.  
Also Clarke looked extremely tired now. It seemed like the weight of the world pulled her body back down to the bed. Lexa helped her to lie down and looked at her. Clarke’s eyes were only merely open. She kissed her forehead. Again. It seemed to be her thing lately.  
“Sleep now, Clarke. You will feel better in the morning. And maybe then we can talk …” Lexa got up, but Clarke’s hand shot up and grabbed her wrist.  
“Please. Don’t go. … I don’t want to be alone.”  
Lexa looked at her. She was so beautiful. How could she say no? So she sighed, put her holster with the gun on the bedside table and lay down next to Clarke. Their bodies found the right positions instantly. “Muscle memory”, Lexa thought and fell asleep.

 

“What the fuck are you doing in my fiancés bed?!”  
Lexa woke up with a jolt. It took her a few seconds before she realized where she was and who was screaming at her. Finn stared at her like he was ready to kill.  
Lexa looked at Clarke who seemed just as shocked as she was.  
Lexa got up.  
“I know this sounds stupid, but it really isn’t what it looks like.”  
“Yeah? What do you think it looks like?”  
“Finn, I just stayed, because Clarke had a panic attack. Nothing more. I fell asleep. I’m sorry.” She took the holster and put it back on. She hadn’t heard him come in. If he had been a killer, they both would’ve been dead. She messed up. This couldn’t happen again.  
She took another look at Clarke, who looked tired and confused, but whose eyes wouldn’t leave her. Lexa gave her a small smile. “I will leave you guys alone. I’ll be outside if you need me.”  
Finn glared at her as she passed him, but she didn’t care. All she cared about was that she felt Clarke’s eyes follow her as she left. What the hell was she supposed to do now?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> I am really happy about your comments. Please, keep them coming. I appreciate all the feedback I can get.  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Clarke was walking around her living room. She was growing weary of Finn complaining. For over an hour he had been arguing and sulking, accusing her of spending the night with her ex-girlfriend. Technically he was right of course. The thought made her giggle just a little bit.  
Not once within this hour had he asked if she was okay. He hadn’t cared enough to stay with her the day before either. She stopped walking.  
“Finn, why are you here?”  
“What?” He pushed his hair back behind his ear and looked at her.  
“You didn’t stay with me when they brought me home more dead than alive and you haven’t been here yesterday. Why are you here now?”  
He seemed confused. “I had business meetings and you said you were okay.”  
“Finn, I was kidnapped and almost killed. Why on earth would you believe me?”  
“But you said …”  
“You said you needed to go to a business meeting. You said it was important. It seemed like your life depended on it. What did you expect me to say? I just whished I had been more important than your job.”  
“Clarke, you’re not making sense.”  
She looked at him. When had he become like this? When had they become like this?  
“I think you should go.”  
“What?”  
Clarke looked at him and suddenly things were as clear to her as if a veil had been lifted. She looked at her finger with the flashy engagement ring that was so much different than the one that was still in a box in her desk drawer. The one she chose for Lexa. The one she couldn’t have brought herself to throw away. She took the ring off her finger and gave it to Finn.  
“Clarke, what are you doing?”  
“What I should have done a while ago. I don’t want to marry you, Finn. I shouldn’t have said yes in the first place.”  
He looked at her in bewilderment. “You’re making a mistake, Clarke.”  
“No, I am not.”  
“Is it because of her?” He made a gesture in the general direction of the door.  
“No, it is not. She just reminded me of something.”  
He stared at her.  
“And what’s that?”  
“How it feels when somebody actually cares for you.”

When the door opened, Finn rushed out like a bull in the arena. For a second Lexa thought he was about to hit her, but he just stopped, stood still and stared at her for a moment. When Lexa didn’t break eye contact, he gave her a contemptuous laugh. “Well, I guess you two are just perfect for one another.”  
With that he turned and left.  
Lexa looked at Clarke, who was standing in the doorframe.  
“What was that about?”  
“Nothing.”  
“Are you okay?”  
“Yes.” She smiled at her. “Thank you for asking.”  
“You’re welcome.”  
There was a moment of silence.  
“Do you want to come in?”  
Lexa looked at her and smiled back.  
“I would love to, but I have to go.”  
“You are leaving?” Clarke’s smile dropped.  
“I just got a call from Bellamy. I’m needed at the precinct and I really have to shower and change. I literally slept in this.” She looked at her clothes.  
“Indra is already on her way to take my post. You’ll be safe with her.”  
She saw Clarke’s look.  
“Don’t worry. She is intimidating enough to even scare me.” She laughed.  
Another moment of silence.  
“Clarke, if it is alright with you I will come back tonight and take my post again?”  
Clarke’s eyes seemed to lighten up just a little.  
“I could bring some food and then maybe we could talk? I think it is time for us to talk, don’t you?”  
Clarke looked at her.  
“Maybe you are right. Maybe it is.”

 

“Do you have any idea, how much footage there is, Lexa?” Monty yawned. “I’ve been here for almost 24 hours.”  
Lexa placed a coffee cup in front of him. “That’s why I come bearing gifts.” In her other hand she had a box of doughnuts.  
Monty took one and smiled at her. “Well, that could just do the trick.” He took a bite. “Okay, this is what we have.” He turned to the monitor in front of him and started the video.  
“This is Ontari leaving the bank. We have bank statements that put the withdrawal at about 5 minutes earlier than this, so this is pretty much her leaving with one million dollars. I guess they’re in the bag she has with her.”  
Lexa nodded. “Okay.”  
“Next she walks to her car and puts the money in the trunk. Then I have about 12 hours of footage from different cameras that have her driving around, running errands, that sort of stuff. The bag is still inside the trunk. Eleven p.m. is where it gets interesting.” He started another video. Ontari got out of her car and took the bag out of the trunk. Next she was walking down the street to what looked like a laundromat. She entered it and left about two minutes later, this time without the bag.  
Lexa looked at Monty. “What happens next?”  
Monty grinned. “What happens next is what I call a homerun.” He fast-forwarded for about two minutes, and then a man appeared on the screen. He wore a hoodie, so Lexa couldn’t see his face. He entered the laundromat and came back out a minute later. This time he was carrying a bag, Ontari’s bag.  
Lexa looked at Monty. “You can’t see his face.” He just smiled. “Oh, yes, you can, Detective. Only not from this angle.” He switched to a different camera and there he was. Cage Wallace. Lexa gave Monty a high five.

When Lexa entered the room Bellamy looked up from the files he was reading.  
“You saw it?”  
“Yes.”  
“What are we going to do now? Take her in and hope for a confession?”  
“You don’t really think that it was her idea?”  
Bellamy shook his head. “No. From all that I’ve gathered, Ontari is her mother’s right hand, but I highly doubt that she is the one who decided to have Clarke killed. My gut says it’s her mum, but my gut won’t do us any good in court.”  
Lexa helped herself to a cup of coffee and set down at her desk.  
“So what shall we do, partner?”  
Bellamy sighed. “I have no idea.”  
Lexa sipped her coffee in silence for a minute.  
“Bellamy, there’s one thing that we haven’t considered yet.”  
“What’s that?”  
“How did Cage know where and how to find Clarke?”  
“Well, doesn’t she always leave the hospital the same way?”  
“I don’t think so. She usually takes her car and the car park is in front of the hospital. That day Clarke took the back entrance, because it’s closer to the subway.”  
Bellamy looked at her.  
“So either Wallace was inside, watching her or he must have an informant telling him where to find Clarke.”  
He took a moment to think about this. “If he was inside the hospital the security cameras must have caught him. I’ll have a look.”  
Lexa nodded. “We should also check what happens around Clarke at the time she leaves. If there was an informant he or she must have made a call or something. I doubt Clarke publicly announced that she was leaving through the back door.” She took a look at her watch. “It’s getting late. I have to replace Indra.”  
Bellamy grinned.  
“Off for another round of sparring?”  
Lexa sighed. “Something like that.”

 

“Hey Indra. Everything okay?”  
Indra nodded at her. “Nothing happened. I actually had some to time to catch up on my reading.” She held up a book.  
Lexa smiled. “You can go home now. I’ll take it from here.”  
Indra got up. She looked at Lexa and down at the take-out boxes she was carrying. “Are you sure you’re fine alone?”  
Lexa grinned. “Yes.”  
“Okay then. See you tomorrow, Detective.”  
Lexa waited for Indra to leave, then she knocked at Clarke’s door rather then using the bell. Clarke opened with a smile.  
“I knew it was you.”  
“Yes? How?”  
“You did that knock that only you do. You’ve always done it.”  
“I have?” Lexa thought about it. “You’re right. I do that.” She smiled. “I brought dinner.”  
Clarke looked at the boxes. “Chinese. Good call. Come on in.”  
Lexa stepped inside and took a look around. The place looked exactly the way she remembered it. No wonder she had been able to maneuver through the darkness without falling over a chair. She still knew this apartment by heart.  
She took the take-out to the kitchen and put it on the table. Clarke went to fetch two forks. They sat down and started to eat in silence until Lexa felt Clarke’s gaze on her and she looked up.  
“What?”  
“A week ago I would have laughed at anyone telling me that we would sit in my kitchen today, having take-out like civilized people.”  
Lexa smiled. “I know what you mean.”  
When they had finished Clarke put the boxes in the trash. Lexa got up and wandered around in the living room.  
“You have new paintings on the wall.”  
“Yes. I needed to change a few things to make me feel … whole again.”  
Lexa turned to look at her. Clarke was observing her from the kitchen counter. So this was how it started. The talk. The one she had been avoiding for three years.  
“I am sorry if I made you feel … ‘not whole’.”  
Clark looked at her. Lexa saw that the color of her eyes had changed to a darker shade. She could see all the feeling that had been bottled up in Clark were now ready to come to the surface.  
“When you left I didn’t know what to do with myself. I didn’t know what to feel. I didn’t know why it happened, Lexa. We were happy. At least that’s what I thought.”  
Lexa kept her distance, but her gaze didn’t waver. “We were happy.”  
“Then why did you leave?”  
Lexa could see the tears in Clarke’s eyes and she had to remind herself that it wasn’t her place to go and comfort her anymore. She had to remind herself that she was the cause of these tears. She owed Clarke an explanation and she would try to give it to her even though she wasn’t sure of the ‘why’ herself.  
“When you asked me to marry you I was … overwhelmed. I don’t know how else to put it. You, your family, your friends, everybody had been nice to me from day one. I was part of something and it felt great, but everybody was so accomplished. The senator, the doctor, you going to med school … and on the other hand there was me, the foster kid, the one without the ridiculously good university degree. I felt …” Lexa was searching for the right words. “… inadequate.”  
Clarke just stared at her. “Inadequate? Are you kidding me? If I thought you inadequate why would I have proposed to you? To keep you as my trophy wife? Keep you around because of your looks?”  
Lexa sighed. “No Clarke. It wasn’t you or how you made me feel. It was me. I messed everything up, because I had this … this urge to prove myself. Not to you. I knew you didn’t need me to. I did it for me. To prove to me that I could be on my own again. That I am my own person. That if everything around me fell apart again, I would be fine, because that is how it always was. Me. Alone.”  
Clarke shook her head in disbelief. “This is mad, Lexa. You left me, because you were scared that we’d fall apart? I fucking proposed to you!”  
“I know! I know. And I am so sorry. I am sorry for all the hurt that I caused you, because I’m screwed up.” Lexa’s legs felt like they were about to give in. She sat down on the couch.  
Clarke wiped her eyes and came closer. “You realize how hard this is for me to understand?”  
Lexa sniffed. “Yes, I do. It's hard for me to understand either.”  
Clarke sat down next to her.  
“You could have just tried to talk to me, you know? Packing you’re stuff in the middle of the night and leaving the city for months wasn’t the best option.”  
“I needed the distance.”  
“Well, I needed you.”  
They sat in silence for a long time.  
“I’m sorry, I hurt you, Clarke.”  
“What about you?”  
“What?”  
“How did it make you feel?”  
Lexa hesitated, but answered truthfully. “Miserable.”  
“Why didn’t you just come back?”  
“And tell you what? Sorry, Clarke, this was a stupid idea. Let’s just get married anyway?”  
“Well, at least it would have spared me the engagement with Finn …”  
Lexa looked at her. “Don’t you love him?”  
“No.”  
“Oh.”  
“Yes. Oh.”  
“What are you … Will you tell him?”  
“I already did.”  
“You did?”  
“Yes. This morning. I broke it off. This is how you do such things by the way, in person.”  
Lexa couldn’t help, but smile a little. “Point taken.”  
Clarke let herself sink into the couch. “What are we going to do now, Lex? You’re here, I am here. You’re supposed to make sure I’m safe and I’m fluctuating between wanting to kiss you and the urge to slit your throat.”  
“You are?” Lexa turned her head and stared at her.  
Clarke laughed. “Wanting to slit your throat?”  
“No, the other part.”  
Clarke smiled just a little bit. “I might.”  
Lexa let out a sigh. “I guess we will have to wait how this internal struggle of yours plays out then.”  
Clarke looked at her and nodded. She got up.  
“I will bid you goodnight now, Detective. Is it okay for you to sleep on the couch or do you prefer the floor outside the apartment door?”  
“The couch is fine, thank you.”  
“There are blankets in the cupboard.”  
Lexa smiled. “I know.”  
Clarke looked at her. “Yes, you do. Goodnight, Lexa.”  
“Goodnight, Clarke.

Lexa got a blanket and another pillow from the small cupboard, switched off the light and lay down on the couch. Clarke thought about kissing her. She closed her eyes, but sleep wouldn’t come.


	5. Chapter 5

When Clarke woke up she smelled coffee. A smile appeared on her face. One of the benefits of being Lexa’s girlfriend had always been waking up to the smell of coffee. Lexa was an early bird, Clarke most certainly was not.  
She got up and considered putting on something a little more appropriate than her PJs, but decided against it. This was her apartment and Lexa had already seen her in her PJs … and without.  
Lexa was in the kitchen, preparing breakfast. Clarke watched her for a little while; then she cleared her throat to make herself known and had to laugh when the the other woman jumped.  
“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to scare you.”  
Lexa looked down at the orange juice that she had spilled. “You didn’t scare me. Jumping is part of my morning workout.”  
Clarke walked past her and got a towel. “Here.”  
“Thank you.” Lexa took care of the mess she made.  
“Sit down Clarke. I made some breakfast. I hope that’s okay?”  
“Depends on the kind of breakfast, I guess.”  
“How about waffles?”  
“I like waffles.” She smiled and sat down while Lexa put waffles on a plate and poured coffee in two mugs.  
“Did you sleep alright, Detective?”  
“No. You?”  
“Like a baby.”  
Lexa smiled. “Figures.”  
Clark looked at her.  
“Why didn’t you sleep, Lexa?”  
“Because I am supposed to keep you safe.”  
“That’s all?”  
“Can we maybe not talk for a bit, Clarke? Just until I’ve finished my coffee?”  
Clarke nodded. “Sure.”  
They ate their breakfast in silence until Lexa’s phone buzzed.  
“Hey Bellamy, what’s up? You have? Sure. Send it to me. Thank you.” Lexa hung up and waited for the beep that told her she had a message. She looked at the picture, Bellamy sent her.  
“Clarke, do you know who this is?”  
Clarke took the phone from her.  
“That’s Echo. Why do you ask?”  
“Who’s Echo?”  
“One of the nurses at the hospital.”  
“How long has she been working there?”  
Clarke thought about it. “Maybe for three weeks.” She looked at Lexa. “What is this about?”  
Lexa put the phone down.  
“We’ve been wondering how Wallace could have known which exit you would take the night he kidnapped you.”  
“And you think Echo told him? Why?”  
“I don’t know yet. All I can say is that she is the only one who made a call at the exactly the moment you left. The only one we have on tape that is.” She took a sip from her coffee.  
“Do you remember if Echo asked you anything that day? Did you tell her that your car died? What was the reason for that anyway?”  
Clarke looked at her.  
“I don’t know. I haven’t picked it up yet.”  
Lexa took her phone again and made a call.  
“Harper? Do me a favor and drive by an auto shop for me. It’s …” She looked at Clarke.  
“Andrews on 5th Street.”  
“Andrews on 5th Street. They have Clarke Griffin’s car. Find out what was wrong with it. It might have been tampered with. Thanks.” She hung up.  
“So? What about Echo?”  
“I don’t know. I haven’t talked to her much. I remember telling Wells about the car. He’s one of my colleagues. Maybe Echo was there when I spoke with him. I’m not sure.”  
Lexa nodded. “Okay.”  
“Do you really think she has anything to do with what happened to me?”  
Clarke looked a little afraid. Lexa reached across the table and took her hand.  
“Hey! It’s okay. You are safe and I will find whoever is behind this, okay?”

 

“Hey Lex, you look tired and I could have sworn those are the things you wore yesterday.” Bellamy grinned.  
“Jeez, Bell, I hate it when you’re in a good mood.” She looked at him. “Why are you in a good mood?”  
“Because you were right.”  
She raised an eyebrow. “What was I right about and why does it put you in a good mood?”  
He smiled and went to get his partner some coffee. He put the mug down on the desk and sat down next to it.  
“Harper went to the garage and you were right. The car was tampered with. And it wasn’t the job of a professional either.”  
“How so?” Lexa yawned.  
“If you want to make sure a car won’t start, there are a few things you can do so it won’t be obvious. Whoever did the job on Clarke’s car simply ripped out a handful of cables. The guy in the garage said it was really messy.”  
“It doesn’t sound like something Cage Wallace would have done.”  
“No, sure doesn’t.”  
“Does the garage still have the cables? Maybe we can pull some prints?"  
“I’ll have Harper call them.”  
“So, what about Echo? Do we have any idea who she called yet?”  
“Not yet. Monty’s working on it. What we do know is that she didn’t call Wallace, at least not on his regular cell.”  
“Damn it, Bell, we have to find a solid lead. I can’t keep Clarke locked up at her place forever.”  
He gave her a bright smile.  
“Right now it doesn’t seem so bad to me.”  
She threw a pen in his general direction. “Oh, shut up!”

 

“Raven, Octavia and Lincoln will come over tonight. Is that alright with you?”  
Lexa looked up from the book she was reading.  
“This is your apartment, Clarke. You can invite whomever you want.”  
Clarke raised an eyebrow.  
“I know that, Lexa. I was being polite.”  
She sat down next to her.  
“Is there anything new with the Echo situation?”  
“Monty is still working his way through the call logs. He will find something soon.”  
Lexa turned the page.  
“Who would sabotage my car, though?”  
Lexa sighed and put the book down.  
“You’re getting restless staying in here, aren’t you?”  
“I am.”  
“It’s only going to be a few more days.”  
“How do you know? What if you don’t catch the guy?”  
“I will catch the guy.”  
“But how can you be sure?”  
“Because, Clarke, I will catch the guy!”  
Clarke looked at Lexa. She was all handsome in her tight jeans and black shirt. Her eyes were the color of a whole forest and her hair seemed to absorb the sunshine that came through the window. Suddenly Clarke knew how her inner struggle would play out. Without further thought she leaned forward and kissed her. Lexa was too much taken by surprise to resist. The second she felt Clarke’s lips on hers her heart started to race and her hands were no longer under her control. She grabbed Clarke’s neck to pull her closer and heard her moan.  
It took them about five seconds to get up from the couch and stumble into the bedroom, never stopping the kiss. Clarke tried to get rid of Lexa’s gun holster, but Lexa stopped her. “Careful with that.” She took it off and placed it next to the bed.  
Clarke looked at her.  
“Are you okay with this?”  
Lexa smiled at her. “Are you?”  
Instead of an answer Clarke kissed her again. “I’ve missed this. I’ve missed you.”  
“I’ve missed you, too, Clarke.” Lexa got up her hands and cupped Clarke's cheeks. Blue eyes, how she had missed them looking at her like that.  
Clarke tried to open Lexa’s shirt, but got frustrated with the buttons and pulled it over her head instead. Now Lexa moved closer and when Clarke kissed her neck she saw something new. She stopped and turned Lexa around to look at the woman’s bare back.  
“You’ve go a tattoo?”  
“Yes.”  
“Let me look at it.”  
She followed the delicate lines with her fingers, causing goose bumps along the way. Lexa stood still for as long as she could manage, but then it was her turn. She got rid of Clarke’s shirt and pushed her back on the bed. Clarke laughed at her, but Lexa just grinned. She looked at Clarke in her jeans and her black bra and just had to lick her lips which made Clarke laugh even more. She sat up and grabbed Lexa’s hips to pull her closer. Lexa sat down on her lap and kissed her passionately, her fingers running through Clarke’s hair. Clarke opened Lexa’s bra and let herself fall back on the mattress, pulling Lexa with her. The feeling of Lexa’s weight on her body was intoxicating. She held her there for a long time, kissing her deeply. After a while Clarke spun them around and got rid of her remaining clothes. Lexa stared at her, her eyes wide. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”  
Clarke smiled at her.  
“Thank you! You are, too. And now get out of these jeans!”

“Clarke! Damn it! Open the stupid door. The food’s getting cold!”  
Raven was hammering against the apartment door and using the bell, too, for good measure.  
“What if something is wrong?” Octavia looked around.  
“What should be wrong? There are no signs of a fight.” Lincoln kissed her cheek. “Clarke’s probably in the bathroom.”  
“Yeah, but why doesn’t Lexa open up then?”  
Suddenly they heard footsteps running to the door and it opened. Clarke looked … flustered.  
“Sorry, I was … I … Come on in, guys!”  
She smiled at them. Octavia and Lincoln entered, but Raven stayed exactly where she had been standing and stared at her.  
“You had sex.”  
“What?”  
“Clarke, your face is all red, your hair is a mess and you have this look in your eyes. Who is it?”  
She looked over Clarke’s shoulder into the living room where Lexa had just entered.  
“You haven’t?!” Raven grinned.  
Clarke blushed even more.  
“I just might have … “  
“Damn it, Griffin, finally.”  
“What are you talking about?” Clarke looked at her, but Raven just gave her a pat on the shoulder and entered the apartment.  
“Lexa, it’s so good to see you!” Raven sounded extra cheerful.  
Lexa looked from Raven to Clarke, who just shrugged, and back to Raven.  
“Good to see you to, Raven. Can I help you with that?” She nodded towards the take-out boxes Raven was carrying.  
Raven smiled. “Sure. Why don’t you come to the kitchen with me.”  
Lexa again looked at Clarke who once again shrugged and followed Raven into the kitchen. Raven unloaded the content of the boxes onto plates while Lexa got beers from the fridge. When she turned Raven was standing right in front of her.  
“Let’s just get one thing clear, Lexa.”  
“Okay?”  
“I am very happy that you guys are obviously making progress, like having sex and all, but if you hurt her again I will find you and I will end you!” She pointed at the brace on her leg. “This won’t stop me from kicking your ass, am I making myself absolutely clear?”  
Lexa couldn’t help, but smile.  
“Absolutely, Raven.”  
When they got back from the kitchen Clarke gave her a questioning look, but Lexa just smiled and sat down next to her. She put a bottle of beer in front of Clarke and poured water in a glass for herself. The next hours she spent listening to the chatter of old friends. At some point Clarke’s hand found her way into hers and she saw O and Lincoln look at them and smile. Lexa felt at ease. When Clarke leaned back into her she could have sworn that this was how it was supposed to be. She felt happy.

An hour later Lexa's phone buzzed. She looked at the display and got up to take the call, carefully disentangling her limbs from Clarke’s.  
“Hey, Bellamy!”  
“Lexa, is this a bad time?”  
“No, of course not. Why would it?” She looked up and saw Octavia’s grin.  
“You’re sister texted you, didn’t she?” She laughed.  
“She might have, but that’s not why I’m calling.”  
“Okay, so what’s up?”  
“We have a lead.”  
“We do?” The tone of Lexa’s voice changed and Clarke sat up straight.  
“Monty managed to find the call that Echo made. It must be it. It’s the exact time and it’s about as long as the call in the video.”  
“That’s great, Bell! Who did she call?”  
“You won’t believe this!”  
“I will, if you tell me.”  
“Do you want to sit down?”  
“Damn it, Bell, tell me!”  
“Finn Collins.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there!  
> I had a lot of fun with your comments. It's really interesting how much some of you hate Finn. I mean, in the context of this story that's okay. To quote Bellamy: He's a douche. Withing the series I kinda liked him though. Anyways, let's see what happens next. I highly doubt that he acted alone ...  
> In the beginning I wrote that this story would probably consist of 6 chapters, but right now I'm having way too much fun with it. Therefore there might be one or two more.  
> Comments are greatly appreciated, as always.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everybody!
> 
> Thank you so much for your comments. It's a nice change to get instant feedback instead of "just" writing stories all alone in my study. Don't get me wrong, I like writing. Period. But it's a cool thing to know that someone is actually reading this stuff. So, please, keep your comments coming.  
> I really hope you like this chapter. It was fun to write.  
> See you on the other side!

"Finn? But why?"  
Clarke didn't understand. Why would he do that? She was completely taken aback. Lexa watched her closely for any sign of a panic attack. Clarke was pale, but otherwise she seemed okay.  
"He owns a construction company and business was slow. I bet Nia Queen had a deal for him and he took it."  
"He took a deal that would cost me my life?" Clarke stared at Lexa like she had the answer for that.  
"I don’t now why he did it, Clarke, but I will most certainly find out."  
"Punch him in the face while you’re at it." Raven looked like she was willing to do it herself. She sat next to Clarke, while Octavia was pacing around the living room. "This stupid son of a bitch rats out his fiancé for money? No offence, Clarke, but I never liked him. Bellamy didn’t either."  
Clarke looked at her and then at Raven, who was trying not to add her two cents.  
"Oh, come on, just say it!"  
"I hated him from the second I saw him, that slimy, always whining empty suit."  
Clarke just had to giggle. "Yeah, I know. What about you, Lincoln?"  
The tall man had been awfully quiet. "Well, I …" He started to laugh. "He really is a whiny douchebag!"  
Clarke got up and went over to Lexa. She put her arms around her waist and her head on her shoulder. "So much for the competition."  
Lexa smiled. "Oh, I wasn’t worried about the competition. But now I am worried about what everyone really thinks about me."  
Raven looked at her. "Don’t worry. We think you're cute. A little stupid sometimes, but reasonably cute."

"Finn Collins? Police! Open up!"  
Bellamy hated the guy. He had disliked him from the second he met first him, but now that he knew Finn was part of a plan to kill Clarke, he was ready to break down the door and punch him in the face.  
"Open up, Finn!"  
He heard footsteps.  
"Who's there?"  
"Are you fucking kidding me? Police! Open up!"  
You could almost hear Finn thinking. "What is this about?"  
Bellamy made a mental note to hit the guy, not matter what.  
"Listen, Collins, you either open that door right now or I will break it down and things get ugly. Do you understand?"  
There was one more second of silence, then the door opened.  
Bellamy made two steps, flipped the man around and put him on the floor to handcuff him.  
"Finn Collins, you’re under arrest for conspiracy to commit murder."

"I have no idea what’s going on. Hey! Is anyone listening?"  
Lexa stood on the other side of the one-way mirror and watched Finn squirm. She would have loved to just go into the interrogation room and punch him until he confessed, but with her being an officer of the law that wasn't an option. She looked at Bellamy who held his coffee mug like he needed his hands to be occupied.  
"What do we have?"  
"We have his number on the call Echo made. We have his bank statements that tell us he’s basically broke and we have him on camera meeting with Nia Queen."  
Lexa sighed. "So we basically have nothing to hold him on?"  
"No."  
"What about Echo and Ontari?"  
"They are in interrogation 2 and 3. We can place Ontari in relation to Cage. So at least there is something to work with. We don't have anything on Echo. I told Monty to find us a connection to the Queens, but even if there is, she was just making a call and we have no idea what she said."  
Lexa looked at him. "So, it’s basically up to us to make them talk." He nodded.  
"Okay, this is how we're going to play it. Put Ontari in holding. I doubt, she'll say anything. Keep Echo in interrogation, but let's focus on Finn first. Something tells me, toy boy is the one who will talk. I don't think he's fully understood what he's done and what was planned. Maybe he will count his losses." She took two water bottles from a small fridge and gave Bellamy a clap on the back. "Come on, you can be the bad cop."  
Finn jumped when the door opened and Bellamy and Lexa entered. Lexa put one of the bottles in front of him and leaned back on the wall next to the mirror. Bellamy took the chair across from Finn. He looked at Bellamy and nodded in Lexa's direction.  
"Does she have to be here? Is that even legal? She's fucking my fiancé."  
"Ex-fiancé." Lexa drank some water. Bellamy smirked.  
"Yes, she's going to be here. Deal with it." He started the recording. "Start of the interrogation of Finn Collins by the detectives Lexa Woods and Bellamy Blake." He leaned back in his chair. "So, Finn, what made you become an accomplice in the abduction and planned murder of Clarke Griffin, who was your fiancé at the time?"  
Finn stared at him.  
"Shoudn’t I have a lawyer present?"  
Bellamy shrugged. "Sure. We can wait for your attorney, but if you don't talk to us now, all deals are off the table and right now Nia Queen is rallying her lawyers to get her daughter and Echo the "get out of jail free" card, which essentially leaves you as the scapegoat."  
"I haven't done anything. There is nothing you can hold against me."  
"Well, we do know that you had a meeting with Nia Queen and that it would be a life saving thing for you should she decide to employ your firm to build her little industrial park."  
"So? I have business meetings all the time."  
Bellamy smiled at him. "You are also the only one who knew Clarke's car was in the shop and which exit she would use that night."  
"That’s a coincidence and I bet a hundred people knew. Clarke tends to talk a lot, you know." He grinned and Lexa felt her grip on the water bottle tighten. This smug son of a bitch was right. They didn't have enough on him. But Bell wasn't finished yet.  
"How do you explain that you got a call from Echo the second Clarke left after her shift?"  
"I don't know? She likes me. She's seen me with Clarke and has been calling me once or twice. She has a thing for me." He put his hair back behind his ear and smiled.  
"Did you give her your number?"  
Finn grinned. "I might have."  
"And why wouldn't she call you from her cell? Why call you from the hospital?"  
"I don’t know. You'd have to ask her."  
Bellamy gave him the sweetest smile. "You do realize how shady this all sounds?"  
Finn laughed at him. "I may not be the most faithful guy around, but you can hardly charge me with that." He leaned back and took a gulp from his water bottle. "You have nothing on me."  
Bellamy smiled again. He had him exactly where he wanted him. He didn't talk about his lawyer anymore, because he thought he had it all under control. He felt Lexa move next to him. She put her water bottle on the table and leaned forward to face Finn. Her face was stoic, but Bell knew that right now Lexa Woods was in a killing mood. They only had circumstantial evidence, but he knew Lexa would find a way to tie him down. She always did. In this room she was unbeaten. She was smart, fierce and she wouldn't let him leave without a confession. Bellamy leaned back and watched.  
Lexa stared at Finn. The smug smile left his face. She knew her chances were fifty-fifty, but she took the gamble. "You know what, Finn? You think that we have nothing on you. You think everything we have is circumstantial and you are right." The grin was back on his face, but then Lexa smiled and he seemed fazed by it. "But there is one tiny thing that my colleague hasn't mentioned yet. One tiny little thing, but it might just be the one thing that breaks your neck."  
He stared at her.  
"You know, you really should think about wearing gloves when you're trying to break a car. It makes pulling prints from wires so much harder." With that she put on a pair of latex gloves and took his bottle. "Thank you. I will give this to the lab so they can match your prints." She smiled at his blank and pale face. "It'll take about an hour. But just so you know, the second we're out of this room any deals are off the table and you'll face a very long time in prison."  
Bellamy got up and opened the door for her. Just as she was about to leave she heard Finn's voice.  
"Wait!"

"Fuck, Woods! That was a close call!" Bellamy laughed at her. "I have no idea how you manage to do something like this. You didn't even lie to him. You didn't say we actually had prints. It was fucking brilliant."  
Lexa took a bow. "Thank you. Now that we have his statement, let's try Echo. If we get her to spill what she knows maybe we can get to Nia Queen after all." From the corner of her eye she saw a familiar face. She turned her head.  
"Clarke? What are you doing here?"  
"I made Indra take me here. I wanted to see him for myself." Clarke looked furious.  
"Your captain was so nice to let me watch the interrogation. The stupid son of a bitch drugged me and delivered me to Wallace himself!"  
Lexa took her hand in hers. "Yes, he did. Are you okay?"  
"He almost had me killed."  
Clarke was shaking with anger. Lexa thought about trying to make her sit down, but in that moment an officer appeared, guarding a handcuffed Finn to holding. Clarke let go of Lexa's hand and ran to them. She looked at Finn and punched him right in the face. Lexa heard the telltale sound of a nose breaking and couldn’t help, but grin. She ran over to Clarke, put her arms around her and pulled her away so she wouldn't hurt the already screaming man even more. The officer that took him away was grinning, too.  
"It’s okay, Clarke. Stop it. Stop it now." Clarke relaxed a little.  
"Feeling better?"  
"Actually, yes, I do. You can let go of me now." Lexa loosened her grip, but still held onto her. "Are you okay? This is a lot to process."  
Clarke looked at her. "I’m okay, Lexa. I'm not as fragile as you think."  
"I know that, Clarke. It's just …"  
"It's what?"  
"I really whished I could make it all go away … undo it, so you don't have to go through this." She looked at Clarke, afraid she might start to cry, but the weirdest thing happened. Clarke took both of her hands and looked her in the eyes.  
"Lexa, if this … if us is what comes out of this mess, believe me, I would go through it all again." Lexa just stared at her in amazement. She ignored the fact that they were standing in the middle of the precinct with everyone looking at them and kissed her. There was cheering and she grinned. "Don't you guys have work to do?"

  
"So, what’s happening next?" Clarke looked at Bellamy who was sitting next to her. "Lexa is going to make Echo cry and then we'll go and arrest the Ice Queen." He grinned at her.  
Clarke looked through the one-way mirror and saw Lexa circling Echo like a predator circling its prey. "She is good at this."  
"That is an understatement. She is the best interrogator, no, the best detective this precinct has ever seen. Did you see her take Finn apart?"  
"I did."  
"She was so mad. She would have liked to rip his throat out, but she knew that wasn't the way to get to Nia Queen. All the does is calculated. She has one endgame and that is making sure you're safe."  
Clarke sat in silence, while Lexa worked her magic with Echo. It took her an hour, but she got what she wanted. When she showed her Finn's confession the woman just laughed at her, but Lexa had a joker. Finn had recorded Echo's call. After hearing it she finally gave in and told her what she wanted to know and even a little more.

  
A few hours later policemen brought in Nia Queen and her entourage of lawyers. The woman was intimidating. She had piercing eyes and a demeanour that was very fitting considering that people called her the Ice Queen. She seemed unfazed by everything she was charged with and even the amount of evidence the police had thanks to Echo and Finn didn't rattle her cage. She sat on a chair in interrogation and waited. Lexa wondered what for. The woman seemed somewhat off.  
Her and Bellamy both took turns questioning Nia, but she stayed silent until she finally whispered something to one of the lawyers. The man looked at her. "Are you sure?" Nia just nodded. Lexa looked at the lawyer expectantly. He cleared his throat.  
"Mrs. Queen requests to see Senator Griffin."  
Lexa stared at him. "Why?"  
"She would like to discuss this with the Senator himself."  
"Senator Griffin has no influence on the charges brought up against your client."  
He smiled. "Mrs. Queen understands that, but she will only talk to the Senator."  
Lexa got up and left the room. Bellamy looked at her. "What the hell is this all about?"  
"I have no idea. Let's call Jake and find out."

  
Jake arrived an hour later. He hugged his daughter and Lexa and nodded at Bellamy.  
"So, she wants to see me?"  
"Yes. Please, take a seat." Lexa sat down in one of the chairs and waited until everyone was settled.  
"We have enough evidence to charge her with kidnapping and attempted murder, but she won't talk. She had her lawyer tell me she would only speak to you."  
Jake nodded and Lexa looked at him. "You don't have to talk to her, Jake. We don't need her confession."  
"But I want to talk to her, Lexa. I have to know why she did it."  
"Dad, you really don't have to do it." Clarke locked eyes with her father's, but he just smiled a sad smile.  
"Yes, honey, I do." He got up. "Would you lead the way, Lexa?"  
"Sure."  
When they entered the room Nia looked up and smiled. She gave her lawyers a sign to leave. "But Mrs. Queen …!" "Leave!"  
This was the first time Lexa heard Nia's voice and the venom in it made her shiver.  
Jake sat down in the chair across from the woman and looked at her.  
"Nia, why am I here?"  
She stared at him in silence until Jake flinched.  
"Why would you do this to me?"  
Nia looked right into his eyes. "I loved you and you left."  
Jake stared at her. "This is what this is about? This is why you wanted to kill my daughter? I loved you, too, Nia, but it was over by the time I met Abby. You know that. You can't still be mad at this?! People break up every day. Not all of them hire contract killers. You must see how mad this is?!"  
Nia's gaze was steady and cold.  
"Oh, Jake, you always think the world revolves around you, don't you? It was mostly a business decision. The fact that killing your daughter would destroy you, was only the icing on the cake." She chuckled. Lexa clenched her jaw. Her hands were fists by now and it was physically hard for her, not to hit the woman.  
Jake was stunned. "What in the world happened to you? What made you become like this?" He got up. "I am really sorry that you thought trying to kill my daughter would be a valid option to express your pain ... or whatever this is. I pity you."  
A creepy smile showed in Nia's face.  
"No, Jake, I pity you for thinking this is over."  
Jake turned and stared at her. Then he shook his head and left.  
Lexa watched Nia who was still smiling and felt something cold creep up her spine. It wasn’t over? What did she mean by that?


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!  
> I hope you'll like this chapter. Feel free to drop me a comment telling me how much you hate me when you're finished. ;)

It was late when Jake and Clarke left the precinct with Lexa and Bellamy. It had been a long day and they were all tired and weary. Nia Queen and her daughter had been officially charged with kidnapping and conspiracy to commit murder, but both of them kept silent. Finn’s and Echo’s lawyers tried to strike a deal with the prosecutor.  
Bellamy had offered to drive Jake home and Lexa had decided to do the same for Clarke. When they stepped outside it was chilly. Lexa put the collar of her coat up and saw Clarke do the same. She smiled at her. Bellamy was caught up in some small talk with Jake and Clarke joined in. Lexa didn’t. She felt jumpy. Maybe it was because she was tired or maybe because of what Nia Queen had said. She had a bad feeling.  
When she saw the hooded man walking down the street she stopped. Something was wrong with him, something that she couldn’t quite place at first. Maybe it was the speed with which he was walking or the way his right hand was in his pocket. He was close now. She wanted to alert Bellamy, but it was already too late.  
When Lexa saw the gun she instantly knew who the man would be aiming it at. Nia Queen didn’t want Jake dead, she wanted him to suffer. Without any further thought, Lexa jumped and pushed Clark out of the way. The bullet hit her in mid-air and spun her body around. Everything seemed to be in slow motion after that, even her impact on the ground that left her breathless. She gasped for air, but it just wouldn’t fill her lungs. She heard screaming. To her left Bellamy took down the shooter. Jake was running towards her, but the only thing Lexa noticed were Clarke’s eyes that were trained on her in an expression of disbelief and pure panic. Lexa tried to say something, but she felt liquid coming from her mouth and that was when it hit her. She would die, right here and right now. And she hadn’t told Clarke. She hadn’t told her all the things she needed to hear. She hadn’t told her how much she loved her. Too late now.  
“Lexa!”  
She took one last look at Clarke, then everything went dark.

Clarke felt like she was frozen in time. She saw the man approaching with a gun in his hand. She heard the shot and somehow Lexa pushed her out of the way. When she fell to the floor, Clarke didn’t understand what was happening at first. She saw Bellamy gunning down the shooter. She saw her dad run towards Lexa who was lying on the ground just a few feet from her choking on what appeared to be her own blood. Lexa’s eyes were locked on hers like she was her only anchor, the only thing that kept her in this world. Then reality started to kick back in.  
She got up and ran over to Lexa. Her eyes were closed now and Clarke could see the entry wound of the bullet. She carefully turned the woman onto her side. There was no exit wound. She put her back onto her back to keep the blood loss at a minimum. Clarke checked Lexa’s pulse and it felt like her own heart stopped when there was none.  
“No! No, Lexa! Don’t do this to me!” She started CPR.  
She heard her father call 911 and suddenly there were two paramedics who pushed her out of the way. Later she learned that they had been there to take care of Finn’s broken nose.  
Everything went so fast now. They checked Lexa’s pulse again and now there seemed to be one. They put her on a stretcher and inside the ambulance. One look at Clarke and they took her, too. 

When they arrived at the hospital Abby and her team were already waiting at the doors.  
“What’s her status?”  
“Bullet wound to the abdomen, no exit wound. Your daughter was doing CPR when we arrived. Pulse is weak and she’s lost a lot of blood.”  
Abby nodded.  
“We’ll take it from here. Jackson, prep her for surgery and get me enough blood. Clarke, do you know Lexa’s blood type?” Clarke’s face was blank. She shook her head.  
Abby looked at her. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Clarke shook her head again. Abby put her hand on her daughter’s shoulder. “She’ll be fine, Clarke. Lexa is a fighter. I have to go in now. Will you be okay?”  
Clarke lifted her head just a little and nodded. Abby knew Clarke was anything but fine, but she had to make Lexa her priority, so she left.  
Clarke stood in the hallway for a long time. She felt nothing. She felt like life had been drained out of her.  
“Clarke?” The sound of Well’s voice made her jump. She looked up at him.  
“You should go home, Clarke. There is nothing you can do right now.”  
“No way am I going to leave her alone!” She realized that her hands had turned into fists. She tried to relax them, but she couldn’t. Well’s was still watching her.  
“At least come with me and take a shower. You can’t stay here looking like this.”  
Clark looked at her bloody clothes. Her hands were bloody, too. Lexa’s blood. She felt like she had to vomit. It took her a few moments to recover from that feeling, then she looked at Wells and nodded. 

“Do you want some music?” Jackson looked at Abby and she shook her head. She looked at her hands and saw them shake just a little bit. Jackson had seen it, too.  
“Are you sure, you want to do this? We can find somebody else, Abby.”  
“Somebody else is not as good as I am.” Abby’s voice sounded as tense as her body was. She wouldn’t let Lexa die.  
“Maybe this is too personal …”  
“You’re damn right, this is too personal, but I am her best chance and I am not going to argue about this any longer. Let’s open her up.” She took the scalpel and made the incision. There was blood everywhere. “Suction!”  
Abby took a look at the monitor. The heart rate was frantic. She needed to work fast.

Clarke took a shower and saw the blood flow down her body. It seemed to be everywhere, on her hands, her face, in her hair. She felt her tears mix with the hot water and suddenly her knees seemed to be too weak for her to stand. She slid down the tiles and sat on the floor, the hot water caressing her body. She felt so tired.

“There it is! I can see it!”  
“Good! That is good!”  
“Damn it!”  
“What is it, Abby?”  
“It struck the spine. There are bone fragments. I’ll have to remove them as well.” Abby cursed under her breath. She had been operating for almost two hours now and wasn’t nearly finished. The bullet had hid Lexa at an angle, first smashing one of her rips that had pierced her lung. Luckily the bullet had lost a lot of its force in the process and therefore the damage on her spine was minimal. Abby pulled it out and looked at it. “Got you, little devil!”  
That’s when the alarm started to sound and Lexa’s heart stopped for the second time that day. 

Clarke didn’t know for how long she had been in the shower, but when she arrived in the waiting area, wearing the back-up clothes she always kept in her locker, Bellamy and her dad were already there. Clarke fell into her father’s arms.  
“Dad!”  
“It’s going to be okay, Clarke. She will get through this.”  
Clarke felt Bellamy’s hand on her shoulder and turned to look at him.  
“I just wanted to let you know that I shot the guy. He is dead and all of this is over.”  
“Who was he?”  
“Seems like Wallace had a partner. His name was Emerson. Monty is on it.” He awkwardly patted her back and sat down on one of the chairs, his head in his hands. “I should have been more careful. I should have seen the guy. If I had only been a bit more careful.”  
Clarke sat down next to him. “It wasn’t your fault, Bellamy. No one could have known just how crazy Nia Queen is.”  
He looked up. “Lexa did.”  
They sat in silence for a long time. Jake went to get coffee.

“Clarke!”  
Clarke looked up and saw Raven and Octavia running towards her. She got up to meet them. Raven gave her a hug. “How is she?”  
“I don’t know yet.”  
“But it’s been hours!”  
“I know.”  
Clarke gave Octavia half a smile and sat back down again. The women joined her.  
Four hours and counting. Clarke didn’t know what to think. She was a doctor, she knew how complicated these operations were, but she was tired and afraid and sitting here made her feel like an animal that was locked in a cage. She got up and started walking around. She’d just finished her second round through the waiting room when the door opened and her mother appeared.  
Clarke stopped to look at her. She could tell that Abby was even more tired than she was. The way she looked and her hands shook … Clarke felt the panic rise. She didn’t want to hear what her mother was about to say, but Abby just took her into her arms and whispered into her ear.  
“She’s alive, Clarke. She’s alive.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!  
> If you didn't hate me after reading the last chapter, maybe this will do the trick. ;)  
> Feel free to drop me some comments.

Lexa looked small in her hospital bed. Her face was pale and there were machines everywhere, monitoring her heartbeat, helping her breath, controlling the amount of pain medication. For the longest time Clarke stood inside the door frame just staring at her. She could have died. Lexa could have died, because she was willing to take a bullet for her. The whole concept seemed so strange to Clarke.  
“You can go in, Clarke. She will be out of it for quite a while. Don’t worry about waking her.” Abby almost pushed her inside. There was a chair right next to the bed. Somehow Clarke made it there and sat down.  
Lexa could have been dead.  
She carefully took Lexa’s hand and held it in hers. It was warm and she could feel her pulse. Clarke didn’t trust the machines. She needed to feel Lexa’s heartbeat for herself. All of a sudden the exhaustion that she had pushed aside set in. She leaned forward and placed her head on the mattress. She closed her eyes. Just for a minute … Five seconds later she was asleep. 

When Clarke woke she still held Lexa’s hand in hers. She yawned and looked up to check the heart rate monitor. Everything was fine. Clarke had been sleeping for five hours and her neck hurt. She briefly considered getting up to stretch, but that would mean to let go of Lexa’s hand and she wasn’t going to do that. She needed the physical contact. She needed to make sure that this was not a dream and Lexa was here, alive and breathing. She put the chair a little closer to the bed and leaned back. She’d rather tear a muscle than leave.

 

The beeping was probably the most annoying sound she had ever heard. She wanted to sleep, she needed to sleep, but the beeping wouldn’t stop. Why didn’t it stop? In fact it seemed to pick up speed.  
Everything was foggy. Lexa tried to open her eyes to see where the sound was coming from, but her eyelids were heavier than usual.  
“Doctor, I think she’s waking up!”  
Who was waking up? Definitely not her. She was way too tired for that.  
“Lexa? Can you hear me?”  
Abby? What was Abby doing in her bedroom? Lexa was confused. She tried to open her eyes again, this time she made more of an effort.  
“That’s good! Look at me!”  
“Abby?” Her voice was coarse and her throat felt dry.  
“It’s good to have you back, Lexa!” Abby’s eyes were beaming at her. She was checking something, a chart. She was in a hospital bed. Lexa tried to remember. The gun. She reached for Abby’s arm.  
“Clarke?”  
“Clarke is fine, Lexa. She’s been here the whole time. She’s just getting a cup of coffee. Everyone is fine. We have you to thank you for that.”  
Lexa didn’t think Abby had ever smiled at her that much. So that was the secret? She just had to get herself shot? She was so tired.  
Abby checked her vitals and looked at her. “It’s okay, Lexa. You can close your eyes again. You need to rest. Clarke will be here when you wake up.”  
Lexa did as she was told.

The next 24 hours Lexa slipped in an out of consciousness. Clarke knew that it was mainly due to the pain medication and spent every minute at her side, so when Lexa finally woke up, she wouldn’t be alone. She ate in the chair, slept in the chair, the chair and her were one.  
“You look awful.”  
Clarke jumped and looked up only to find Lexa watching her.  
She smiled. “That’s what not sleeping or showering for almost two days will do to you.”  
Lexa was tired, but she kept her eyes fixed on Clarke.  
“Are you okay?”  
“You are asking me that?”  
“Yes.”  
Clarke got up and gave her a light kiss on the lips.  
“Now I am.” She sat back down and took her hand. “You had me worried though.”  
“I am sorry, Clarke.”  
The sound of her name on Lexa’s lips made Clarke shiver. The way she said it was unique. She thought of how close she had come to never hearing that voice again …  
“What on earth would you be sorry about?”  
“I don’t know … everything.” Lexa felt like sleeping. Her eyelids were so heavy.  
“Hey Lex?”  
Lexa opened her eyes again.  
“Mmh?”  
“I love you.”  
“I love you, too.”

When Lexa woke up the next time, Abby was there.  
“So, Doc, how am I doing?”  
“Your vitals are strong. Given the fact that you almost died on my operating table that’s a stellar improvement.”  
Lexa stared at her.  
“I did?”  
“Yes. Your heart stopped twice that day. The first time you were lucky, Clarke was there.”  
Lexa was speechless. She had been so close to dying.  
“Lexa, I know you’re tired, but there is a small test that I’d like to do.”  
Lexa looked at her and nodded.  
Abby took out something that looked like a knitting needle and started to test her legs for reactions. At least Lexa thought that was what she was doing, because she didn’t feel anything. She felt the panic rise.  
“Lexa, do you feel any of this?”  
“No.”  
“Tell me when you do, okay?”  
The needle went higher, but Lexa didn’t feel it. She closed her eyes.  
Abby took her hand.  
“Hey, that doesn’t mean anything. It was a tough call. The bullet grazed your spine. We operated on you for hours. We’ll just have to wait.”  
Lexa opened her eyes again to look at her.  
“Abby, I know you’re trying to comfort me, but what I really need right now is your professional opinion.” Her voice was not much more than a whisper.  
Abby looked at her for a long while, then she nodded.  
“As I said, the bullet grazed your spine and there were a few bone fragments I had to remove. There is still a lot of swelling. It could go either way. If you really want my professional opinion, I’d have to say that no feeling at all is not a good sign.”

Lexa was awake when Clarke entered the room.  
“Hey, you’re up.”  
Lexa didn’t answer. For a moment she tried to will her legs to move like some kind of miracle could have happened within the last hours. When they didn’t she closed her eyes.  
“Lex, please look at me.”  
Lexa didn’t want to, but she opened her eyes anyway.  
“It’s going to be okay. The swelling can cause your symptoms. You are going to be fine.”  
Clarke made the best effort to sound confident, but Lexa couldn’t deal with it.  
“I am not, Clarke!” She was surprised how angry she sounded. “I am not going to be fine and I don’t want to talk about it.”  
“Lexa …”  
“Please Clarke, can you just leave me alone? I want to be alone.”  
“But …”  
“I can’t deal with this right now. With you, with this ...” She pointed to her legs. “Please, go!”  
Clarke stared at her not knowing what to do. She knew Lexa was devastated and she wanted to be there for her. She wanted to hold her hand and just be there. She felt tears rolling down her cheeks.  
“Lexa, please …”  
But Lexa couldn’t … She knew how much hurt she caused in Clarke right now and she hated herself for it, but she needed to be alone. She couldn’t deal with it, with her, with everything. She had taken a bullet for Clarke and that was why she would probably never walk again. She knew Clarke would stay with her, but that was not what she wanted or at least not how she wanted it. She’d always feel like there was the tiniest possibility that Clarke stayed with her because she felt indebted to her and even the thought of that made her hurt even more. It made her feel weak. So Lexa steeled her gaze and repeated:  
“Please, go.”  
And Clarke left.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there!  
> Okay, before you start to read this: I really like this chapter. It's actually the second chapter that I wrote for this story, because I knew where I wanted the story to end. That being said: There'll be one more chapter after this, because when I finally got here, I just couldn't stop. ;)  
> Have fun and tell me what you think. By the way: How cool is Anya?

After two very long weeks, Lexa was discharged. She had managed to piss of almost everyone during that time: Abby and Jake who had tried to talk some sense into her. Raven and Octavia who had tried the same and finally Bellamy, who simply told her to fucking come to her senses. Only Anya had said nothing. She had been there the whole time watching her sister struggle and she knew that there wasn’t any sense in trying to get her to see reason right now.  
She knew how stubborn Lexa could be. It had been the same when she had left after Clarke’s proposal. She remembered exactly how she had tried to talk sense into Lexa and how she had failed miserably. There seemed to be a little voice inside her sister’s head that constantly told her she needed to be self-sufficient, that everyone would leave her in the end anyway and that it was better, not to get too attached to people in the first place. Anya always wondered how she had managed to be the exception.  
She picked Lexa up from the hospital, brought her to her apartment and stayed with her for two days. Two days that Lexa spent in almost complete silence. Anya just looked at her and tried to be patient. She would come around.

Only Lexa didn’t come around. She wouldn’t answer the door or her phone. The only people she saw were the food delivery guys. A full week later she sat in her wheelchair and looked out of the window when she suddenly felt pain.  
It was not like she wasn’t used to pain by now, but this particular pain seemed to accumulate in her legs and the thought of that made her heart race. She had heard about people who still felt the limps they had lost to an amputation, but hers were still there. She touched her right leg and for a second she thought she felt her fingers prodding away. She tried again with the other leg. There was something. Some sort of sensation. But no matter how hard she tried to focus, her legs wouldn’t move. What did that mean? There was only one way to find out.

“You feel something. That is a good thing, Lexa!” Abby looked at her.  
Lexa clenched her jaw. “I wouldn’t say excruciating pain is something good.”  
“Well, if there is pain at least we know the nerves are still working.”  
“Doesn’t mean I can move my legs though.”  
“Jesus, Lexa, can’t you just try to be a little positive? Who knows what we can achieve with the right amount of physical therapy? Clarke is going to be so relieved when she hears that you feel your legs.”  
“You won’t tell her!” Lexa’s voice was sharp like a knife. “You are my doctor and you are not going to tell her.”  
“What? Why?” Abby didn’t understand.  
“If you tell her she will think I’ll get better. She will think I will be okay again. But I don’t know that, Abby.”  
Abby looked at her.  
“Lexa, why would you think that if you can walk or not has something to do with you and Clarke? She loves you not matter what.”  
Lexa didn’t want to talk about it. She tried to hold back her tears, but still felt them rolling down her cheeks.  
“I know that Abby, but me in this wheelchair, reminding her that I took a bullet for her … this is not what I want for her. Can’t you understand that?”  
Abby shook her head. “No, I can’t. But I will respect your wishes and not tell her.”  
Before she left she took a long look at Lexa. “I really wished I could make you see that it doesn’t have to be like this. You don’t have to go through this alone.” 

 

“Who is it?”  
“It’s Clarke.”  
Anya sighed and opened the door.  
“Jeez, Griffin, you look like a ghost!”  
“Well, thank you.” Clarke stood on Anya’s doormat and looked at her. “Can I come in?”  
“Is there a way I could stop you?”  
“Probably not.”  
“Well, then by all means, come in.”  
Anya stepped aside and closed the door behind Clarke. The girl looked awful. Considering the dark circles under her eyes she hadn’t slept in days and while Clarke usually looked like the cover girl for “In style, but not overdressed” she now seemed to opt for wearing whatever wasn’t in the laundry. Anya sighed. What the fuck was Lexa doing?  
“Sit. Do you want a beer?”  
“Do you have anything stronger than that?”  
Anya looked at her. “I do, but before we start the part with the heavy drinking: Do you have to work tomorrow?”  
“No.”  
“Okay, whiskey it is.”  
She got a bottle and two glasses and filled them. Clarke took one and drank it all at once.  
“Damn, Griffin, this is good stuff. Take your time with it, will you?!”  
Clarke placed the glass back on the table.  
“I’ll take my time with the next one.”  
Anya filled her glass again.  
“So why are you here?”  
Clarke grabbed the glass and stared at it.  
“I don’t know. I just … How is she?”  
Anya sighed again. She took a sip from her glass and felt the liquid run down throat leaving a burning feeling in its path.  
“She’s being stupid. That’s how she is.”  
Clarke smiled just a little bit.  
They both drank their whiskey in silence.  
“Is there anything that I can do?”  
Anya looked at the girl and shook her head. She wished there was anything she could say to make Clarke feel better. This was new to her. She wasn’t the type of person who got attached to people, but somehow Clarke Griffin had maneuvered her way into Anya’s heart. Maybe it was, because she could see how much she loved her little sister.  
She filled Clarke’s glass for a third time and knew exactly how this would end, with Clarke passing out on her couch. She made a decision. Tomorrow she would call Abby and after that she would talk some sense into Lexa. 

 

„Get up!“  
„What?“ Lexa looked up and found Anya standing in the doorway, looking at her with utter disgust.  
“Get the fuck up! And take a shower. You look disgusting!”  
Lexa’s gaze fell to her sweat pants that were stained with various food samples.  
“What the hell, Anya?”  
Anya came marching towards her. “This moping of yours, it’s going to stop right now. You have been injured, I get it. Your legs hurt, which is a good thing, by the way. You have been feeling sorry for yourself for almost three weeks now. And it will stop today. You will get up and take a shower or I’ll kick your sorry ass.”  
“Anya ...”  
“Don’t you dare Anya me.” She looked really mad and Lexa didn’t know how to respond.  
“You will make yourself presentable and then you will talk to Clarke. This is the second time you’re acting like a complete asshole and somehow she still won’t give up on you. Instead she stands on my doorstep crying her eyes out because of you, drinking herself into a stupor. I told her to kick you to the curb already, but she just won’t listen.”  
Lexa’s eyes widened by the mention of Clarke’s name and she felt her heartbeat take it up a notch.  
“She talked to you?”  
“She talks to me all the bloody time. She is worried. She is scared that you'll give yourself up and she is utterly heartbroken. Not to mention that she is bloody annoying. And she’s not the only one, you know? I got calls from Octavia, who has never called me before in my life. I got calls from Raven, telling me that my stupid sister is my responsibility, and I even got calls from Bell and his wife, separately I might add. All of these stupid friends of yours and Clarke’s are making my life a living hell, because they won’t give up on you. And what about you? My sister, the independent woman, the one who always has to be bloody strong and noble is sitting on this stupid couch looking like a hobo. What now, Detective? You got shot. Shit happens! It could have happened at any time and in any place, but just because it was Clarke you took the bullet for you shut her out? You love her! You told me so! What the hell is going on in this messed up head of yours?”  
Lexa stared at her. She was speechless for once.  
She really hadn’t thought all of this through, had she? Anya was right. She loved Clarke. The one regret she had when she thought she was about to die was not to be able to tell Clarke that she loved her. She really needed her sister yelling at her to realize what a complete idiot she was? What the hell had she been doing?  
She looked at Anya who still seemed to be ready to assault her should she nod comply with her demands so she sat up and reached for the wheelchair, but Anya stopped her.  
“Oh no, not with that.” Anya sported a malicious grin. She handed her a pair of crutches.  
“Abby tells you to try these.”  
Lexa looked up at her. “You talked to Abby?”  
Anya laughed. “It feels like in the last few days I’ve been talking to almost every living soul on the planet.”  
Lexa took the crutches and tried to get up. It took her four tries.  
“Fall down three times, get up four, little sis.” Anya grinned at her, but all Lexa could think of was that she was standing. She was shaking like a leaf, but she was standing. She almost laughed, but then she realized that even in her small apartment the distance between the living room and the bathroom was enormous. She would also need to get fresh clothes from the bedroom. She looked at Anya.  
“You are right.”  
“Sorry?”  
“Don’t make me say it again.”  
“But I like the sound of it.”  
“Anya!”  
“Okay.”  
“So, if I try to do this. Are you going to help me?”  
Anya looked at her. She understood completely, what it was Lexa was asking, but she couldn’t help teasing her just a little more.  
“Help to clean you up? Sure.” She gave Lexa a clap on the butt and went ahead. “I’ve always liked to see you naked.”  
Lexa just growled.

 

It was past midnight. Clarke sat on her bed when the phone rang. She didn’t really want to talk to anyone, but she took the phone anyway. The caller ID showed a new number. She stared at it for a while, then she answered.  
“Yes?”  
“Clarke?”  
For a second her heart stopped. She would recognize this voice anywhere. She had been waiting to hear it for three weeks.  
“Clarke?”  
“Lexa.”  
There was short period of silence and she wasn’t sure if they had been disconnected, but then Lexa started to speak.  
“Clarke, I’ve been an idiot. I wanted to call you and tell you that I am sorry … for so many things, but mainly for pushing you away … again. I don’t know if you want to talk to me or if you want me to leave you alone, but I couldn’t just leave it at that.”  
Silence again.  
“Listen, you can tell me not to call you, to leave you alone. I would understand.”  
Clarke laughed a little.  
“Clarke?”  
Lexa’s voice was one big question mark.  
“You are so stupid sometimes.”  
“Yes, I am.” Clarke could hear how relieved Lexa was when she finally answered, even if she was insulting her.  
“Do you want me to come over? To talk?”  
“No.” The answer was straight.  
“No?” Clarke was dumbfounded.  
“Please, don’t get me wrong, Clarke. It’s not that I don’t want to see you. I just need a little more time to sort things out.” Lexa’s voice was soft.  
“Can you give me that? Just a little more time? Maybe talk to me on the phone instead?”  
Clark thought about it, then she nodded.  
“Clarke?”  
Clarke laughed.  
“I’m sorry, I just nodded, but you can’t see that.”  
“No, I can’t.” Lexa’s voice was so fucking soft.  
“Okay, if this is what you want, we will talk on the phone for a while. I will give you your space.”  
“Thank you, Clarke.”  
“You’re welcome, Lexa.”  
“And Clarke?”  
“Yes?”  
“Don’t give up on me yet?”  
“I won’t.”

 

“So, why did you break up? You never told me and Clarke won’t spill the beans either.”  
“She asked me to marry her.”  
“She what?” Raven stopped what she was doing and stared at Lexa.  
“She asked me to marry her, but I wasn’t ready. I needed to become someone first. Be my own person, you know?”  
“So instead of telling her that you broke it off?”  
“Yes.”  
Raven looked at her, completely fascinated.  
“Wow, just how stupid are you?!”  
Lexa clenched her teeth. A little because of Raven, but mostly because the exercise was extremely painful.  
“In hindsight it may have been just a little stupid.”  
“Ya think?”  
Raven shook her head. “Do you have any idea how many nights I had to endure the ‘What could I have done differently’ breakdowns? Come to think of it: You owe me, Lexa. Big time.”  
Lexa nodded.  
“I know. But please Raven, you have to promise me, you won’t tell her anything about this. Please?”  
Raven looked at her.  
“I promise. I have no idea why you wouldn’t tell her that the feeling in your legs is back, but I won’t tell her. I have no yearning whatsoever to get in the middle of this weird thing that is you and Clarke.”  
She saw the pain on Lexa’s face when she tried to do the exercise one more time.  
“Hey, Detective, you should stop now. It’s been enough for today. You need to rest.”  
Lexa tried it one more time anyway before she sat down on the floor panting. 

Lexa went to physical therapy every day. Usually Bellamy, Raven, Octavia or Lincoln drove her and waited until she was finished. It was hard for Lexa to except help at first, but now she was grateful. She also started to have sessions with a therapist that Gustus recommended. She needed to find out why it was so hard for her to rely on people.  
Every evening she would call Clarke and they would talk until one of them fell asleep. Usually it was Lexa, because she was simply exhausted.  
Two weeks into this little routine she could tell that Clarke was getting restless, so Lexa made a decision.

Clarke was waiting for Lexa’s call, but heard the sound of her doorbell instead. She looked at her watch. It was eight p.m. and she would have rather stayed next to the phone. She sighed. That was what her life had come to. She got up and walked to the door. When she opened it she couldn’t believe her eyes.  
Lexa wore a suit, including a tie. Her long hair was braided in a weird old-fashioned, but beautiful way and she was leaning on crutches. Clarke stared at her.  
“Lexa!”  
She stared at her some more.  
“How did you get up here?”  
Her stare got more inquisitive. She saw the sweat on Lexa’s forehead and the white knuckles holding on to the crutches. Lexa had taken the stairs. All of them.  
“Oh god, Lex! Come in! Sit down. You’re in pain …”  
That’s when it hit her.  
“Lexa, you’re walking.”  
Lexa smiled at her.  
“Lexa, you are walking!” Clarke put her hands on her mouth to contain the scream of joy that was bubbling up her throat.  
Lexa looked at her. “I am.”  
“God, please, come in.”  
She held the door for Lexa and watched her as she made her way inside. Slow, but steady.  
Inside Lexa turned to face her.  
“Lexa, don’t you want to sit down?” Clarke was worried.  
“Later, Clarke. There is something I have to say and I really want to be standing for this.”  
She inhaled deeply.  
“Clarke, I have been a complete and utter moron. I have pushed you away when I needed you the most, because I was too afraid to be regarded as weak. And I was afraid that you might only stay with me, because you felt responsible. I have pushed you away when you told me you loved me and wanted to marry me, because I was afraid that it would make me nothing more than your other half and I had yet to figure out who I was. It never crossed my mind that I could do both. I was so stupid that Raven asked me to tell you to kick my ass in the not so distant future.”  
She made a small pause and looked at Clarke who seemed speechless. Lexa continued.  
“In the last few weeks I found out what it means to depend on people. I found out that I have friends who – for some reason beyond my understanding – like me and aren’t going to give up on me. And I realized that there is only one thing I cannot stop, ignore or fight. One thing that even if it makes me feel weak also feels right and makes me strong at the same time and that is loving you. I have loved you from the first second I laid my eyes on you and I will keep on loving you until my last breath.”  
With that last sentence Lexa did something very stupid. She let go of her crutches and willed her legs into kneeling down. It hurt like hell, but it sure was worth it. Clarke stared at her, her eyes already wet with tears.  
Lexa took the ring from her pocket and looked up.  
“Clarke Griffin, do you find it in your heart to forgive me? I love you and I swear to you that I will not walk away from you ever again. Will you marry me?”  
Clarke looked at her solemnly and nodded. “Yes! You beautiful idiot, I will marry you!”  
She kneeled down in front of Lexa and kissed her. Lexa felt her own tears mixing with Clarke’s. She laughed and wiped them away to be able to put the ring on Clarke’s finger. It fit perfectly.  
Clarke looked at it.  
“It’s beautiful, Lex. I love it.” She kissed her again “I love you.”  
After a few more moments of kissing, hugging and a bit of squealing on Clarke’s part, Clarke looked at Lexa. “By the way, what would you have done if I hadn’t been so forgiving?”  
Lexa grinned. “Look out of the window.”  
“What?”  
“Just look out of the window.”  
Clarke got up and walked over to her window. Downstairs there were people. She took a closer look. She saw her parents, Octavia, Lincoln, Raven, Bellamy, Gina and the kids as well as Anya. All of them were staring up at her and when they saw her they started to cheer and held up signs. Clarke read “Forgive her!”, “She’s an idiot, but you love her.” and “Please, take my sister. I am not her damn keeper!”  
She started to laugh and turned to Lexa who was still kneeling on the floor.  
“That probably would have done it! Should we let them come up?”  
Lexa nodded. “Probably. Mostly, because Raven has the champagne. … There is just one thing you should take care of first.”  
“And what’s that.”  
Lexa gave her an apologetic smile.  
“Help me up, please?”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there!
> 
> So this is the final chapter and it's basically fluff and I hope you like it. Like always: Comments are very much appreciated. By the way: It's the first time I've been listening to something on repeat while writing. Its been „10 AM, Gare Du Nord“ by Keaton Henson.
> 
> I've also started another Clark and Lexa story and will upload the first chapter to test the waters. Maybe you guys can have a look at it and tell me what you think?

“Stop figeting around!”  
“I am not figeting!”  
“You bloody well are and it makes fixing this tie of yours impossible, so stop.”  
Anya looked at her with a twinkle in her eyes. She managed to fix Lexa’s tie and took a step back to marvel at her work.  
“Damn, my little sister looks handsome.”  
“Do I?”  
Lexa made a step to the side to be able to look into the mirror.  
Her hair was braided, because Clarke had told her how much she liked it that way, and she wore a velvet suit that was midnight blue.  
“Midnight blue? What’s that supposed to mean? That’s nothing, but a fancy expression for ‘almost black’.” Anya had laughed at her when they went suit shopping. Lexa didn’t mind. She liked the color. It reminded her of one of van Gogh’s paintings. It had been almost impossible to find matching shoes and a tie though. Lexa knew exactly how she wanted them to look and wouldn’t stop before she found the perfect ones. It had been worth it.  
Anya couldn’t help, but smile at her sister.  
“Lexa Woods is getting married. Who would have thought?”  
Lexa turned around and looked at her.  
“I guess you’re not completely innocent when it comes to that.”  
She smiled and did something so atypical for her that it almost made Anya jump. She kissed her sister on the cheek.  
“Thank you. For everything.”  
Anya tried to ignore the single tear that was running down her cheek.  
“You’re welcome, kiddo.”  
She laughed the tear away.  
There was a knock on the door. Anya opened and looked at Bellamy.  
“Aren’t you supposed to be seating people right now?”  
He nodded. “Yes, but I need you to step out for a second.”  
She gave him a questioning look.  
“Why?”  
“Just come with me, please?”  
Anya nodded.  
“I’ll be right back, Lex.”  
She closed the door behind her.  
“What’s wrong?”  
“We can’t find Clarke.”  
“You gotta be kidding me!”  
“She was right there with the girls until all of a sudden she was not.”  
“What the fuck? These two are going to be the death of me!”  
Anya took a deep breath.  
“Find Raven and Octavia and tell them to look for her.”  
“They are already on it.”  
“Okay. Keep seating people and make sure to stall as long as you can. I will find her.”  
Anya turned around and checked the ladies’ room first.

There was a tap on the window that made Lexa turn. She went over and opened it.  
“Clarke? What are you doing here? I thought I wasn’t supposed to see you until the wedding?”  
“Lexa, I don’t think we have to pretend that we care about traditions. May I remind you that we are not the traditional types?” Clarke smiled at her and started to climb in. “And I’m not dressed yet anyway.”  
“What do you mean? We are supposed to get married in …” Lexa looked at her watch. “… Twenty minutes.” She gave Clarke a hand. Clarke was still in jeans, t-shirt and her jacket. Lexa furrowed her brows. “You are not going to chicken out, are you?”  
Clarke grinned. “No, I am not.”  
She took a long look at Lexa.  
“You look beautiful. The color of your suit reminds me of …”  
“Starry Night over the Rhone.”  
“Starry Night over the Rhone.”  
They said at the same time and Lexa just had to smile.  
“It love you.”  
“I love you, too.”  
“Okay, now that we’ve settled this. Why are you not dressed yet?”  
Clarke smiled.  
“I realized that I have forgotten to give you something and I really wanted you to have it.” She took a small box from her pocket of her jacket and gave it to Lexa.  
“When I asked you to marry me things didn’t turn out the way I expected. I never had the chance to give this to you. It’s the engagement ring that I picked for you.”  
Lexa looked at her.  
“You drove all the way back to the apartment to pick up my engagement ring?”  
She chuckled. “I think Bell, Anya, Raven and O are frantically searching for you right now. They will hate you for this.”  
Clarke grinned. “I don’t care. They can kill me later.”  
She cupped Lexa’s cheeks and gave her a kiss.  
“Open it. Please.”  
Lexa opened the box. The ring was beautiful and Lexa felt her eyes fill with tears thinking about how long Clarke must have been searching for it. Two small golden bands were intertwined and it was impossible to find out where one started and the other ended. There were small green stones that looked liked someone had sprinkled them on the ring without method. Their color seemed to exactly match Lexa’s eyes. The ring was perfect.  
Lexa stared at Clarke.  
“It is beautiful, Clarke! Is it okay for me to wear it? I know we have wedding rings, but …”  
Clarke smiled at her and took the ring from her hands only to put it on her finger. She kissed her.  
“I am glad that you like it and I’d love for you to wear it.”  
She smiled. “I guess, I have to go and get dressed now.”  
Lexa nodded and Clarke went to the door. When she opened it, she stared directly into Raven’s face.  
“What the hell, Clarke. Where have you been?”  
Clarke looked back at Lexa and winked. Lexa laughed.

Lexa went down the aisle to stand next to Anya. The walking stick she was leaning on was a piece of art. It was black and had intricate carvings that started right beneath the handle. It had been a gift from her sister. Lexa probably wouldn’t need it forever as her legs got better everyday, but she felt like it gave her a somewhat distinguished look and therefore she kind of liked it.  
She had been starting to work again a few weeks earlier. It was mainly desk work, but she didn’t mind. Bellamy made sure to tell her periodically that he would insist on being her partner again as soon as she got her medical clearance and Lexa was thankful for that.  
She had moved in with Clarke even though the stairs were still a challenge, but Lexa figured that if Raven could climb them so could she. Raven and Clarke had been bridesmaids at Octavia and Lincolns wedding a few weeks earlier and when Clarke had insisted on dancing with her she had been happy to oblige even if her legs killed her afterwards. She would dance with her again tonight. She would dance with her wife, not matter what.  
She took a look around and smiled at Abby who was sitting in the front row watching her. They had become close. Lexa had never really understood what it meant to have a mother until now. Abby made sure that she kept up her therapy, but didn’t overstrain herself. She hugged Lexa when she felt like it, which still took Lexa by surprise every time, and she made sure that Lexa and also Anya were included in every family activity the Griffins had.  
Lexa couldn’t help, but smile at her. She had this warm fuzzy feeling inside that she couldn’t quite place. She felt … loved … and she wasn’t freaked out about this. How did this happen?

The music started and Lexa turned to look at the entrance expectantly. Raven and Octavia came in first. They both wore pants and tops that seemed to be a mixture of gold and beige. Neither of them could have been persuaded to wear a dress, but Clarke hadn’t really wanted them to.  
When Lexa laid eyes on Clarke all of her thoughts just stopped as she marveled at how beautiful her bride was. The dress Clarke was wearing was golden and green at the same time. Lexa had the feeling that the color was constantly changing. Her blonde hair was open and flowed over her shoulders. Lexa could see how proud Jake was as he was leading his daughter down the aisle and she smiled. When they reached her Jake took his Clarke’s hand and put it in Lexa’s.  
“Take care of my little girl, will you?”  
Lexa nodded solemnly. “I will.”  
Jake wiped away a tear. “I know you will.”  
He smiled at them and went to sit with his wife.  
Lexa looked at Clarke.  
“You look beautiful.”  
“You are very handsome, too.”  
The pastor was clearing his throat and both of them turned to face him.  
“Are we ready to begin?”  
Lexa took a long look at Clarke and smiled.  
“Yes. We are finally ready to begin.”


End file.
